Wednesday, 19 October 2011

An Astonishing Thought

I have had an atstonishing thought and have decided to share it here before I forget. You know how people get good and grumpy about the grocer's apostrophe, i.e the apostophe that belongs to the grocer... well, I feel that this grumpiness is unfounded.
This is how the grocer's apostrophe works:-

Me to Grocer: Good Sir, how much are your finest cauliflowers?

Grocer [originally from South East London]: Cauliflower IS £5.50 each, luv, d'ya wanna feel?

If we think about this grocer's linguistic tendencies, then signage saying 'Cauliflower's £5.50' etc, would be quite correct. Wouldn't it?

I have no idea how much cauliflowers cost, btw, or whether they need to be felt. AND, perhaps I ought to keep my thoughts to myself in future...?

66 comments:

  1. I have always had much faith in the quality of education given to our grocers, and this seems to prove it. £5.50 sound's a lot for a collie, I'd stick with brokkerlee

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  2. Hello:
    Well, there is nothing so disappointing in our view than a limp cauliflower, apostrophe or not. So, whatever, we should urge you to feel it but not at £5.50 a pop!!

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  3. Mr Bene: Thank you!! Grocers are smarter than we give credit.
    I will stick to chips. I don't think I can defend chip's though.

    The Top-Hats: You are back!!
    And I will now always test a cauliflower for firmness.

    Sx

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  4. Dave: Easy peasy should be peas's.

    Sx

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  5. So if a cauliflower's £5.50 (well, that's inflation for you, guv), how much are cauliflower ear's?

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  6. Dave grows cauliflower in his garden and peas in his greenhouse.

    I cannot help but feel that speculation about feeling cauliflowers is more than a little sordid.

    Is it greengrocer's apostrophe or greengrocers' apostrophe?

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  7. Stick with a bag of frozen from Tesco(')s. :¬)

    xxx

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  8. Nick: Much the same price as the pasnips noses's.

    Mr Scruuilous: I knew I shouldn't have started this; I'm not exactly a grammar-puss... but I am using my grocer as an example. His name is also Dave and he also has a candid way with leeks.

    Sx

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  9. Mr Maps: Very wise, this will save an awful lot of grammatical bother.

    Sx

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  10. Oh good heavens! I meant 'Mr Scurrilous'... not that strange typo above!
    Sx

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  11. Screw loose? How dare you, madam!

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  12. I thought it would be 'cauliflowers are £5.50'.
    Or maybe im' mishtaken!

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  13. Firmness is important in all things - always feel before you buy darling xxx

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  14. I have a concern about banana bruising.

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  15. Mr Scuurloos: Many apologies, it won't happen again.

    Mr John: No, I think you have mistaken the greengrocer with Cauliflowers R Us... a small, yet popular, cauliflower outlet just off the M6. Not to be confused with Spud U like.

    Lulu: I will stick with frozen in future. Definitely firm!

    MJ: Be gentle with your bananas to avoid bruising, too firm and the banana will retreat in horror... or go a bit squishy.

    Sx

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  16. Well if it is 'cauliflower is' then fine...

    At first I didn't connect the cauliflower bit and 'wannna feel?'

    A little gratuitous, i thought.

    Think I lie down now...

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  17. Mr Rabbit: Admittedly, I am rather out of my comfort zone with all this talk of grammar and groping vegetables... I have little knowledge of/with/in either.
    I am going for a LAY down.
    Sx

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  18. Young lady, as I pointed out to you at another place, chickens lay. And so do loose women. You are, I trust, having a lie down.

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  19. Dave is right. I remember my English teacher being very sarcastic about the use of the word lay.

    At least it doesn't have an apostrophy.

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  20. Life is butter, life is butter, melon, cauliflower, melon, cauliflower,
    Life is but a melon, life is but a melon,
    Cauliflower, cauliflower


    I thank you.

    PS. You really go to such extraordinary lengths to cop a feel off a greengrocer called Dave? That's how a girl could get a reputation.

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  21. Dave: Everybody is always telling me off for the way I lay.
    I could write a post about it... and receive a trophy...
    Sx

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  22. Good heavens!! Now I've called Jane, Dave!!!

    Many apologies !! Although I feel Dave will find some way of being flattered by my mistake!

    Anyhow,

    Mr Auty: I knew somebody would mention melons!!! Notice how I have carefully avoided using the phrase: a nice pair of melons???
    I am changing my grocer's name to Pete. He won't mind.

    Sx

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  23. Right, too many hideous typos... time to log off for me tea!
    Sx

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  24. I should hate to be an avocado

    xsN

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  25. Let's face it, most people would like to be me, if only they could.

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  26. Can we expect a post on a Bakers dozen tomorrow :-) I'm curious as to how you'd handle 13 bakers whilst laying down.

    Bxx

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  27. Well, this post generated a ripe crop of comments!
    My cheery greengrocer(in London, long ago)once winked at me and said he'd "some firm young broads out the back."

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  28. "saying 'Cauliflower's £5.50' etc, would be quite correct. Wouldn't it?"

    No.

    And I'm not too keen on the cauliflower groping either!

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  29. I can assure you that you'll get NO HELP from Stateside on the proper use of grammar. We annihilate your language on a daily basis.

    And please don't start censoring your thoughts. Where would that leave the rest of us? Don't be selfish.

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  30. as an Ex Fruit and Vegetable purveyor I remember always having to fend off celery stalkers, mango squeezers and melon sniffers, not to mention the grape pluckers and pear pokers... Droop-less Cucumbers were also a much coveted item. Some thought that my the shop was a fruit fest for untamed and unfed children. Grapes, Apricots and Berries of any variety, even in containers, were never off limits.

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  31. Mr Grocer must have seen you getting off the yellow bus with the square wheels.

    L@@k! Cauliflower 65p at Waitrose Yes 65p! Save 20p

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  32. I assume it was a D&G cauli at that price?

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  33. I shall try not to feel offended that you called me Dave. In a way it's a compliment to be linked with someone famous.

    We've never even had a blog meet. *sniff*

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  34. Mr Nikos: I should hate to have an advocado bathroom suite.

    Dave: *pats Dave on head in a patronising way*

    Bux: Where there's a will there's a way.
    Think of the floury baps and the crusty loaves!

    Dinah: Did this leave you full of beans?

    Mr Von LX: If somebody gave me a cauliflower I honestly wouldn't know what to do with!

    Mr Banish: I shall do my best never to be thoughtless.
    I am also guilty of crimes against the English language.

    Ms Nurse: Lulu is always correct. I also concur.

    Princess: Were you Carmen Miranda?
    I bet you know the best place for the grocer's apostrophe.

    Mitzi: Good God, your link is like an education in cauliflower... they come in all different shapes and sizes... and can even be trimmed.

    Mr Chairman: I believe it was the grocer at the airport, and you know how expensive airport produce is.

    Jane: This reminds me that I must write a post about how to have a safe and happy blog meet.

    Sx

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  35. I made the mistake of putting a cauliflower and a cantaloupe in the same gaily coloured bag, but when I got home the bag had become melancholy

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  36. I wish i could have a blog meet. I wouldn't care if it was safe and happy.

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  37. Next time I'm in Yorkshire...

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  38. Dave, I am now issuing you with a yellow card, and I mean it.
    Sx

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  39. Scarlet - I was going to comment on your original post, that "two wrongs don't make a right.

    Now someone's mentioned blog meets. Where's Musgrove when you need him?

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  40. I don't get it at all. That's okay. Karfiol can atste pretty good, but it is a bit smelly at the preparing. Ad some acid to the water and change it.

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  41. Blimey, first cauliflowers, now blog meat. Don't tell me, a nice chunk of blog meat costs at least £15.50....

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  42. Waaahhh no-o-o-o! Nick, look what you've done! With blog meats that's three wrongs....
    And now I'm commenting all over Scarlet's blog whilst she's away sorting out the veg.... which makes a fourth wrong....

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  43. Macy: Tsk! Somebody had to spot that didn't they!
    I fear we have completely lost Kev to Facebook, and Farmville.

    Mr Mags: So long as you are on the subject of cauliflowers, then you are fine - I checked, and you are!

    Nick: Steady! Blog meat is a delicacy... not to be trifled with.

    Macy: I have decided that this blog post is soooo wrong that I am now talking trifles... I won't blanch at cup-cakes either.

    Sx

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  44. What are cauliflowers for? They're not even green.

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  45. Lol. You'll never guess what I've just arranged!

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  46. Don't forget to take your caulie for lots of walks!

    (It used to just be a penny for a pea!)

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  47. What do your mean trifles? This apostrophe business is really really important. One careless grammatical insult and it could be World War Three.

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  48. Laughed Out Loud at Kev and Farmville....
    No I did.

    Snickering at something else now. Which is NOT a nice trait.

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  49. Pat: I have no idea what cauliflowers are for. Are they some sort of exotic table decoration?

    Jane: You have a blog meet???
    With a blogger in Surrey? I hope it all goes well.

    Ms Biro: Are you Rog in disguise??!!

    Nick: I'm bored with grammar issues now... I was only dipping my toe in.
    I think the world would be a better place if we all dicussed things pleasantly over tea and cupcakes. Any arguments could be settled with a trifle fight.
    If only.

    Macy: It's true!! I get update notifications telling me what Kev is doing with his cows!!

    Sxx

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  50. It would be correct if 'cauliflower' was being used as a generic noun. But then, either the grocer's response was incorrect or your question was grammatically incorrect ie "How much is your cauliflower?" would have been better. Then, 'cauliflower's £5.50" would be perfectly correct.

    Personally though, I avoid the stuff as it makes me fart.

    PS: is 'atstonishing' a slip because you were in the Black Country village of Stonishing when you wrote this?

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  51. you're perfectly right about that apostrophe, but never touch cauliflower. you don't know who touched it before you.

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  52. Mr Affer: *glances sideways at Mr Affer through narrowed eyes*

    Ms Norma: I can assure you that I've never touched a cauliflower.
    It can't be dunked, therefore I am clueless as to what to do with it.

    Sx

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  53. Me? Roger? I wonder myself sometimes

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  54. I'm sorry, but your Astonishing Thought is no longer astonishing. In fact it's become mind-numbingly mundane. I demand my money back.

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  55. Ms BB: Hmmm... updates BB's file: Could be Roger... dang it, that was the previous post...

    Nick: I AGREE!! This astonishing thought does not have the staying power to be astonishing.
    I am already falling back on my previous post for replies to comments.

    Sx

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  56. Hi there Girlie!

    Where I lives, we eat more Collard Greens and Broccoli, although I myself like a good dish of mashed Rutabaga. But I do like cauliflowers, especially when they that nice orange colour - reminds me of a gal I once knew in Fayeteville. I ain't tried none of those Apostrophes - are they steamed or broiled?

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  57. Mr Big Dog: Orange caulie?
    Most of my apostrophes seem to be mashed. Or missing.

    Ms BB: Many apologies, you are not Rog.

    Sx

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  58. £5.50p!!!!!! Maybe The Streets Of London Are Paved With Cauliflowers NOT Gold?

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  59. I have eaten orange cauliflower - they have a lot of beta carotene. I found that, when I was doing a lot of arc welding, it helped give me a good tan!

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  60. I come to visit and find you on holiday.

    *Leaves calling card.

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  61. £5.50 for a collie!!! My god that's expensive.

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  62. The ability to punctuate properly varies, doesn't it?

    Don't forget to come back now. Ill be waiting.

    Pearl

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