Tuesday, 7 February 2012

When Good Bloggers Go Bad.....or a bit smelly....

Has the blogosphere as I knew it, died? Have all Mr Coppen'sssss wild predictions come true??? Have we all perished under the weight of insipid self promoting marketing blogs? [Like Mr Coppens said we would] Have I been moving in the wrong circles??? Probably. Is there anybody left? Am I here? Have I gone completely barking? WOULD YOU LIKE A HOBNOB????? Custard Cream?? A VERY BIG MUFFIN?? Does Mistress MJ really need the pink ointment to cure her recent problems or just a rub down with some tea tree oil and a soggy flannel [this is a 'cure all' btw, don't ask me how I know]????

What the hell has been going on since I've taken a month off?? Should I become a troll? Should I write something? Should I come home and dust off my blog????

Oh dear.

74 comments:

  1. Admittedly, I am warming to the Troll idea.
    Sx

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  2. Once post per month (and a thin one, at that) isn't going to cut the mustard, cupcake. Your fawning public deserves better.

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  3. I was just about to let bygones be bygones with Norma and post a nipple game.

    Perhaps I'll lob Hobnobs at her instead.

    p.s. THIS is what happens when you go away. CHAOS.

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  4. Mr Banish: ...well this isn't a very encouraging start!
    I WANT MORE FAWNING... surely you can do better than this, Mr Banish?
    Sx

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  5. Mistress MJ: And it's not only Ms Norma misbehaving, Mr Lax and Mr Mago are furtively leering over naked pictures of you... and are now using blackmail tactics to increase their naked picture collection! It's a disgrace! I am beyond words to express my disgust at their antics. They both need a good horse whipping to keep them in line.
    Sx

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  6. Mr Scurrawotsits: YES, I AM, AND QUITE, QUITE MAD!!!!!!!!
    *cue insane Pantomime laughter*
    *cue pantomime horse*
    *cue pantomime chicken... with large thighs and a distinct lack of feathers*
    Sx

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  7. Save me from the madness please miss Scarlet...

    *wipe guacamole from chin*

    How did that get there???

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  8. Princess: We will have to cling to each other to safe ourselves from drowning in the rough, rough seas of gratuitous self promotion.
    Here, have a wet wipe, don't get the guacamole in my hair, it plays havoc with my nylon fibres.
    Sx

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  9. A Custard Cream sounds good. Is it organic?

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  10. Mr XL: Can I not tempt you with Muffin????
    Sx

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  11. Isn't it a bit chilly without those feathers, dear Scarlet?

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  12. Mr Mags: Yep, you are here! I had to slip the doorman a fiver to let you in.

    ...are you making insinuations about the size of my thighs????

    Sx

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  13. At least you're back blogging. Can I go for the muffin? If it's still legal that is!

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  14. John: Hello, m'dear, as it was your birthday the other week then of course you can have a muffin.

    Sx

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  15. Pat: I drop in and out... you know what I'm like.
    Or are you cryptically referring to the unhappy incident in Netherfield involving a sherbet fountain and a jar of marmite... this may have been when I discovered the 'cure-all' of soggy flannel and tea tree oil.

    Sx

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  16. No way - I'm not insinuating anything, this poor simpleminded Franconian in fact has no idea what insinudings means! Your thighs are adorable!

    - What does "fawn" mean ... ?

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  17. Mr Mags: Fawn, or brindle, is a light yellowish tan colour. It is usually used in reference to clothing, soft furnishings and bedding....
    Or it can also mean: be very, very nice to me :-)

    Sx

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  18. Nice, of course.

    And peace broke out at the Infomaniac.

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  19. Thank goodness for that... don't know how long that will last though.
    Sx

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  20. Well hellow!

    I'm not sure what a Hobnob is, although it sounds like something goblins do, but I would like a custard, yes.

    Come back, Scarlet Blue!

    Pearl

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  21. Pearl: Hello, Pearl! Yes, I have returned, it may take me some time to get into my stride and start thinking on my feet again, but I have really missed my blogging friends and my blog.

    Sx

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  22. PS: Yes, I think Trolling could be a good career move.

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  23. Really? I will think about it.
    I'm never quite mean enough though, am I? I kind of almost border on mean... but... just... kind of pull back before becoming a bitch.

    I need bitch lessons! That's what I need! Somebody get me a teacher, NOW.

    Please :-)

    Sx

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  24. Just slap a fascinator on your bonce, don a pair of incredibly high stilettos and get yourself invited to a garden party at the Palace.

    Security word is slymato - is that a secret tomato?

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  25. Imagine some stranger stumbling onto this...all that gratuitous fawning and grovelling and hob-nobbing(not to mention bribing Mr. Beast!)...they might think this was a naughty place.

    Now that you see how much we all want you back in the saddle (so to speak)I hope you'll sharpen you metaphoric pencil and get to it. Now, please, Ms. Scarlet. We've waited long enough!

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  26. Norma could be a good start ...

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  27. hey, sugarpie! if we all spent more time blogging and less time on fb how much better would life be, honey? i am as guilty. but here you are and i'm glad. and wondering why i never get fawned over

    *massive pout*

    *long double sigh, too*

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  28. why must the flannel be soggy? would damp suffice?

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  29. You are much too attractive to be a troll, Scarlet. However, being quite mad is perfectly acceptable.

    I love Hobnobs! Being one of the Colonies, we can get all sorts of English stuff over here.

    @UB: I actually know someone with the real surname of 'Banish'...

    I do hope you will be back with regularity now, Scarlet. These massive breaks do wreck havoc on the fawning, you know. You have to put out to get some. ;-)

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  30. The Bad News is that I,m Still here.The Good News is that I smell worse.........

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  31. Troll freely, but do bring custard creams. X

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  32. I made veggie Shepherds pie today, (saved at least one shepherd!) and homemade trifle. At home!

    You've been missed. :¬)

    xxx

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  33. Mr Chairman: Well, this would certainly give me some post fodder.... so I shall consider your idea.

    Dinah: Awwww... you are very kind. I will have to get my brain in gear... it certainly needs some exercise!

    Mr Mags: There is no way I am going to practice my trolling at Norma's, though she may prove to be a good teacher!

    Savvy: Yes, you should return to your blog! I promise to come and fawn.
    I find FB better for my phone and blogging is easier on my pc, so I lurk on FB in the evenings when there is nothing on the telly.

    Ms Nurse: How do you feel about moist? I toyed with moist.

    Ponita: ...and Hobnobs must be healthy as they are oaty! Not so sure about the chocolate ones though?
    My routine went completely out the window at New Year, but now the mornings are getting lighter things are getting better and it's becoming easier to manage my time.

    Tony: The good news is that you're still here!
    ...but you can borrow the Fabreze after MJ has finished with it...

    Eryl: I will whirl around the blogosphere being rude and then mollify my victims with a range of the finest bakery products. Mr Beastie is often appeased with a pair of floury baps.

    Mr Maps: Sponge fingers and plenty of squirty cream, I like a good trifle.
    Missed yoiu too!

    Sxxxx

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  34. And where have you been for the last month young lady?

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    Replies
    1. Oh... a reply button has appeared...

      Dicky: I do apologise... I would love to say that I have been growing old disgracefully, but the truth is more prosaic - I have genuinely been up to my eyes in it. Whatever IT is?!

      Sx

      What is this SAFE WORD that everybody is talking about? I fear I have missed a vital piece of information during my absence.

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  35. Ask Mr. XL - but it does not come cheap, I warned you!

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  36. You sound a little confused, Ms Scarlet. Probably just a slight brain malfunction. Simply open skull, take out brain, give it a jolly good shake and reinsert. Then everything should be ticketyboo. You'll need to remoisten the flannel though.

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  37. Oh dear. She's forgotten the safe word.

    Someone I used to know used the word "helicopter". Blimey, in the throes of unbearable hobnobbing and you have to get four syllables out before it stops?

    I've just gone to post this comment and it said "We are sorry, but we were unable to complete your request.
    The following errors were found:
    Input error: Memcache value is null for FormRestoration"

    Helicopter!

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  38. Mr Mags: You know of this SAFE WORD??? I will mail Mr LX... hang about, are you two practicing blackmail? AGAIN????

    Nick: Surely you mean my single brain cell... if I take it out, I will end up losing it down the plug hole.
    Now then, do you know anything about this SAFE WORD???

    Looby: Helicopter???? Does optometrists work as well?
    I have missed a vital post somewhere... I hate it when that happens.

    Sx

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  39. Blimey!

    *Thora Hird voice*

    I'll have a Hobnob thank you.

    As you ask.

    And because they sound very Alan Bennett.

    (There's a woman giving birth on TV as I write this. Everyone should have a hobby I suppose)

    :D

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  40. Scarlet, everything's completely fallen apart since you left. Please heard your hobnobs and mezze your muffins so we can all resume normal service
    welcome back!

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  41. A crumpet would be good. With a spare drizzle of Marmite. Welcome back. Please do not leave us again.

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  42. Wow I thought you were dead. So did you enjoy your blogging break? I'm thinking of taking one myself. I'm wondering if blogging is killing off my brain cells, or it could be the Splenda.

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  43. White Rabbit: Hobnobs are popular!
    I will have to employ Mrs Overall from Acorn Antiques to tempt you with a tray of macaroons.

    Wendy: Indeed, everything does fall apart without constant references to biscuit and bakery products.... and I haven't even mentioned the French Fancies yet, Mr Kipling or otherwise.

    <Z: And crumpets!! Now I like a crumpet...
    I am going to do my best to stay put this year! No closing down and opening up an identical blogs, no long unexplained breaks, just regular blog posts and a bit of simple ranting.

    Mr Joey: Charming!!
    I recommend full sugared bakery products to repair your brain cells.
    Have a Hobnob.

    Sx

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  44. Hello Scarlet:
    Oh how our hearts skipped a beat when you appeared in our reader, we danced a little happy dance and Blogtopia seemed once again to be a place of harmony and love!!

    Please do not desert us, your adoring readers, for we are bereft when you are not present.We have missed you, we have mourned for you, we are needy for your return. Please, pretty please, do say that you will stay...!!!

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  45. The Top Hats: Ha Ha! Mr Banish could learn a lot from you!!
    Many thanks,
    Sxx

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  46. Don't shoot the messenger!
    I think that every trend and fad has it's shelf life. I remember how long it took me to realize how mindnumbingly vapid my encyclopedic ignorance of the universe actually was..and it only took 3 years of blogging. Talk aboot a slow learner.

    Blogging is like cloning Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.
    "Oooh...ahhhh...that's how this all starts...but then there's running...and screaming..."

    I understand that people use social networking for a number reasons..but we are operating in a new world with a prehistoric brain that has not changed for one hundred thousand years. ..and what about Dunbar's notion that we can only maintain stable social relationships with a limited number of people (150 was his guesstimate)...so something has to give.

    Either way I know that people are lazy and that Facebook would inflict a number of casualties in the blogosphere...besides, it was the "new" thing. There will be something else and it will probably swing people back into like minded clusters like we had on our blogs...le plus ca change eh?

    Blogging is not dead by any means, I meet people who are just starting all the time.

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  47. Mr Coppens: I think you just have to choose your forum... there's plenty of choice, we don't have to do them all do we?
    I choose blogging, a little bit of FB - which is all bloggers anyhow, and Pinterest... but there's also G+ for a giggle in a circle... but I can't do it all, no, no, no....

    Sx

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  48. My transition to Fb made me aware that joining was a commercial transaction wherein all of my data was being sold..it's a self serve spying operation. I installed AdBlock so I never see the marketing but it took a while to realize that my opinions and images were still available to government agencies or any other customer of Mr Zuckerberg.

    Even though my blog is basically "dead" I still get emails from corporations suggesting that I place their ad in a post in exchange for the product or something lame. It's all part and parcel of the corporate world's attempt to marginalize the internet as a giant marketing forum.

    I must admit that I have always been amazed that the internet exists..I mean how can an ordinary person be allowed such power? There is a huge push for the lobby driven government to acquiesce to the demands of corporations and regulate access...and then the government could also monitor and regulate any criticism by the citizens. It's all very Big Brother and the PTB would like to make it happen sooner than later.

    So we may have already experienced the "good old days" of the web and may soon need to sneak around more if we want to disseminate or criticize our overlords.

    The PTB can't believe how freely people on Fb hand over all of their info..so they finally woke up...and the recent Occupy thingamabob has made them painfully aware that the great unwashed are mad as hell and don't want to take it anymore. This is a huge problem. What happened to their little make-believe Pleasantville society where everyone knew their "place"?

    For now we can say no to commercializing our blogs, or not, but the ego of all the wannabe citizen journalists & yet-to-be-discovered important writers is easily stroked and tempted by the mirage of being regarded as a threat to the system.

    It's just fun to goof around and learn about other people and make fun of our predicament...afterall we share the same obstacles in life. This is "our" place..but when the railroad agents come along and offer us money to run a line through our little acreage it's tempting.

    Fortunately I ran out of steam a few years ago and I'm almost ready to walk away...although I seem to have developed a severe case of lockjaw on this teat.

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  49. Finally you talk understandable, Donnn.

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  50. I know, Mr Mags, Mr Coppens often makes a lot of sense on Facebook as well.

    I try not to give too many details about myself away.... but I reckon if somebody wanted to find out about me, then I know I've often spilt things in my comments.
    Facebook scares the life out of me, to be honest, and I'm very cagey there. Google + will end up being the same.
    I make sure that I spread silly snippets of false information about myself too, just to keep those robots on their toes - hence today my Google ads are offering me a micro chip cat flap. And why not? Shame I haven't got a cat though.
    I will keep my blog going until it finally goes pop. I'll be the last one here to turn the lights out!

    Sxxx

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  51. I've been offered a lot of things in my time, but never a cat flap. For some reason, anti-wrinkle creams pop up a lot. I think it's far too late to smooth out this lunar landscape known as Nick's face.

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  52. Please make mine a chocolate bourbon biscuit

    I had thought about selling out the BlackLOG but felt the 33p that I would get for it (I might even have over valued it) was hardly worth the loss of my already suspect integrity.* As for the blogosphere I’m getting more hits than ever but less comments – I’m obviously either intimidating my readers or sending them to sleep before the reach the end.....

    * I was almost talked into a blog challenge but after wavering for a nano second I decided to stick to my guns and keep the BlackLOG as a weekly snap shot of everything that almost happen in my life. Entering blog competitions is a bit like accepting blog awards, someone out there is just trying to pimp other people into advertising themselves - one would hesitate to call it pyramid selling but it could definitely be described as Toblerone shaped and you just know that despite all that pretence of Swiss neutrality only one country seems t den up with the gold reserves...

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  53. Damn you’re a popular girl - 56 comments. Desperately trying to be your last.

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  54. Ha!!!! Ha!!!!! and thrice Ha!!!!

    but it is I who is always last...

    Sx

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  55. I'm very sorry for flooding your reader!

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  56. I have only just started blogging on a regular basis in late December of last year. I hope blogging and bloggers are still worth a damn.

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  57. Mr Mags: No worries! I'm not really reading them all... though they are quite nostalgic.

    Nellie: Hello and Welcome!
    It seems bloggers are still worth a damn! And it was refreshing to find your blog this morning.

    Sxxx

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  58. I'm at the age where soggy flannels is an occupational hazard...

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  59. French fancies and Mr Kippling - you are so tuned into exactly what's needed in an emergency "pull yourselves together" tea party

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  60. So to summarise, the blogosphere has missed you terribly myself included, emergency tea parties will get us through this and most of us are still trying to keep it real once we have figured out what that actually means!

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  61. Think I'd better get another glass of white in before I even catch up with your comments here dollface...

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  62. Never did like custard creams but hobnobs are a different thing altogether.

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  63. Kev: Ancient Vermilion proverb: A soggy flannel is a Godsend in a tight corner or on a frozen lake.

    Wendy: Ancient Vermilion proverb: A sticky bun lobbed across a spring meadow on a sunny day will keep the wasps at bay.

    HappyFroggy: Ancient Vermi... actually I don't have a proverb for this!
    Crikey, I have to write a post for tomorrow.... and my head is just a tad empty!

    Macy: The comments are far better than the post! Good to see you back!

    Jenny Woolf: Hello and Welcome!!
    I make no mention of the humble plain digestive.... which are actually my biscuit product of choice. I make no mention because I like to keep them all to myself!

    Sx

    It's Valentines Day tomorrow... this could be a start point for my next post.....

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  64. HOLY CHRIST. If blogging is dead, than all these people must be part of some huge group hallucination we all share. Because yeah! Look at us all! And look at the big brains on youse wacky bloggernauts! Scarlet, I thoughted we'd losted ye. And for someone who claims to have lost steam, Coppens sure keeps on driving his choo-choo through the seated subcontinentals, doesn't he? I'm back too. MJ never left, and Mago and Vicus are still out there leading whores to knowledge (although they can't make'em think.) I think there's hope, personally, as long as we stick with it, refuse to monetize, refuse to abandon our sites, and keep giving the motherfuckers a hotshoe at every chance. And sharing recipes and pictures of our wobbly bits.

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  65. Miss Scarlet, be my valentine! [mmmwwwaaahhh]

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  66. Ms Nations: Indeed, and thankfully Mr Coppens and your good self have enough steam to inspire us all sit up and take to the keyboard.
    We must stick together and stand firm.

    Mr XL: Mwah, mwah!!!

    Happy Valentine's Day, my sweet!

    Sxxxxx

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  67. Mr Logs: There you are! How could I have missed this comment!!
    Anyhow, I have just been tagged by Andy and so I have an enormous meme to produce and pass on... kind of like a challenge... so hold your horses... you might be tagged sometime next week.
    Out of chocolate bourbons... can I tempt you with a custard cream????

    Sxx

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  68. Missed Nick as well.
    It wasn't just any old cat flap... it was a thermal catflap.
    Sxxx

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