Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Blue Energy



It has been brought to my attention that EDF are now using a bouncy nipple to flaunt their wares. After much discussion with colleagues, cohorts, Geraldine at the bus stop and, Cybill Shepherd, I have discovered that the bouncy nipple is in fact a Zingy stress toy. So not a nipple after all, but a squeezy ball instead - an easy mistake for any of us to make, especially when sallying forth up a darkened alley way. Thankfully EDF is at hand with Blue Energy to light up the passage so that this type of unfortunate mishap should become a thing of the past.

When I first saw this footage I nodded sagely and thought to myself: how clever of EDF to utilise a naked flame to advertise blue energy... then I kind of twigged that they were advertising electricity... and not gas...

Anyhow... I can hear that my washing machine is nearing the spin cycle... who needs Electric Dreams when Good Vibrations are free.

I will be back soon with news of the FGES competition and hopefully MJ will have also returned.

70 comments:

  1. I like the very low-tech nature of this ad. It looks kind of homey and retro which, I guess, is the point. You can't lose with putting a cat in an ad, either.

    I had to Google FGES. Was hoping it was something salacious. It is not.

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  2. Mr Banish: Low tech??? LOW TECH???? This is British creativity in all its glory. But you're right about the cat.

    Mr Banish, the FGES are part of the rich tapestry that is blogging, as you will discover.
    Sx

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  3. I, of course, do do not live in EDF's service area. Does one indeed feel better after using their energy?

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  4. When you start to use phrases such as "nipples" in your posts, you get some very unsavoury visitors. Such as MJ.
    I suspect that it is this sort of thing that brought you to my site initially.

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  5. Mr Lax: In a nutshell... no. It feels much the same as other electricity, which is odd. Maybe the low carbon spiel is supposed to make me feel good?
    This is what they say about it:-
    *Low-Carbon Electricity we purchase for Blue is supplied into the National Grid. Blue Customers receive electricity via the National Grid, not directly from low-carbon generators. By the end of the Fuel Mix period we shall endeavour to have obtained an amount of low carbon Nuclear electricity that at least matches the total volume of electricity we have estimated has been supplied to all Blue Business Customers in that period using the same method used to create our fuel mix label which is described in the Electricity (Fuel Mix Disclosure) Regulations 2005

    ...whatever that means...?

    Sx

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  6. Mr Scurrilous: I am trying to tempt MJ out of her hidey-hole with nipples and balls... so far it isn't working.
    And let's face it, most of my unsavoury visitors are actually very pleasant. Even you.
    Sx

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  7. I thought South Park had a new version of "Mr Hanky"....

    Does their energy make you feel better because they would have you think that it's generation doesn't come from fossil fuels?

    Or is it because they make one feel all warm and cuddly with their new vacuum cleaner riding mascot then slug you with a huge bill?

    The Freak'n Green Elf Shorts.... I thought they had disappeared into the ether along with the Missing Mistress....

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  8. I've switched to Ovo...waiting to see what squeezy thing they will tempt me with...

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  9. Princess: I am in possession of the FGES... but as yet I cannot confirm the whereabouts of the missing MJ. Perhaps she is enjoying the pleasures of her electric liquidiser?

    Mr Bene: Squeezy green bubble wrap is being designed for you as I type...

    Sx

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  10. Hello Miss Scarlet:
    Well, we are eternally grateful to you for keeping us up to date with the latest television advertisements. As we have not had a television for thirty years we can feel rather remote from the 'real' world at times and so it is good that you have taken the time and trouble to inform us about what our electricity company is up to.

    And, we have to say, that as we seem to pay an extortionate amount for electricity that we never use [as we are rarely in the UK] which has been both green and blue in our time [but never a jolly colour such as pink]we resent our hard earned cash going on this rather nasty little beige creature which reminds us of Mr Whippy ice cream. The complaint to EDF from Mr and Mrs Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells will be winging its way forthwith!!!

    We should now like to ask a further favour.....just what exactly is FGES? Is this a new Gas company?!!!!

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  11. I must say, a vibrating blob doesn't entice me to buy anything at all. And how do we know their energy is produced in a better way than anyone else's? Thoroughly unconvinced, me.

    As for the spin cycle, isn't that the constant regurgitation of Tory "it'll all come right in the end" propaganda?

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  12. The Top Hats: I think it's a naked beige creature that is obviously enjoying pursuits that should not be shown before the watershed... far too much bouncing up and down. Hopefully the cat will eat it.
    I now realise that I am going to have to write a rather long prequel post before launching the FGES competition...

    Nick: I feel wrung out... and a little bit mangled.. and the vibrating blob isn't helping me to feel any better at all.

    Sx

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  13. You're such a live wire! I thought part of the criteria for commenting here was you HAD to be unsavoury. Damn!

    Bx

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  14. Bux: Sometimes I need to be earthed... and I suffer from crossed wires. Unsavoury in a sweet way.

    Mr John: It's a nipple or Mr Whippy... who's to know?

    Sx

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  15. shame on me, sugar! i totally FORGOT you had the friggin FGES!!! i might enter this year...i could get lucky! xoxoxoxox

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    Replies
    1. Savvy: You could get very lucky this year... but Princess will be entering, so stiff competition... cos she's got the hip flask and I will be open to bribes.
      Sx

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  16. That bouncy thingy looks like a Teletubbie's illegitimate offspring.
    And next time I have trouble getting to sleep I shall read the EDF twaddle.
    Maybe you should send the FGES to UB!

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    Replies
    1. Dinah: The best book for guarranteed slumber is Reinsurance in Practice by Robert Kiln [4th edition], I know of no one who has gotten passed the first four lines without their head crashing onto their desk.
      Sx

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  17. They have clearly purloined Mr Whippy's nipple.

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  18. Miss MJ has obviously been dragged back to Betty Fords to be wrung out AGAIN and that is blatantly a nipple

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    1. Mr Beastie: Indeed, it is Mr Whippy's nipple.. which is even more disturbing.
      I am sulking, as my valiant search for MJ has been overlooked. Admittedly I only asked Geraldine at the bus stop and Cybill Shepherd as to her whereabouts, but I did try.

      Sx

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    2. I too it would seem have been overlooked. I made the grand effort of looking under the fainting chaise for the Missing MJ... All I found was a pair of Roses fluffy pink knickers...

      Delete
  19. Princess: ...and let's face it, you deserve a badge of honour if you've grappled with those fluffy knickers... not something I would take on lightly. I have enough bother with Beastie's lurex posing pouch.
    Sx

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  20. Mr Whippy? What have whips got to do with all this?

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  21. Nick: I don't know, but I thought it was about time we factored them into the equation.
    Sx

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  22. I'd noticed this bouncy, pointy thing without a clue as to what it was advertising. I tend to go into Zombie mode during ads.

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    Replies
    1. Pat: I was also puzzled when I first saw it... always best to make up your own narrative when viewing an advert such as this.
      Sx

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  23. Mistress MJ has returned and hopes the spin cycle has not ended.

    *hops on top*

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  24. *returns briefly to slap Vicus and Beast*

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  25. MJ: I am pleased you have returned safe and sound!! And to celebrate, the spin cycle it switched to extra long!
    Please feel free to slap Mr Scurraloos and Mr Beastie.
    Sx

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  26. They will always be nipples to me now.

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  27. looks like a pair of pre-implant pre-leaking PIPs on the cheerful lookout for a matress to call their own...

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  28. You are going electric, Ms Blue?




    (btw I could swear I cmmented her earlier, witty and all)

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  29. Dicky: I'm pleased.

    Miss Nellie: Yuk!!

    Wendy: Interesting... a new an d exciting use for PIPs.

    Mr Mags: Yes, you did leave a comment here because I saw it in my email... I will go and search for it.
    Silly Blogger.

    Sx

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  30. Mr Mags: On the 19th April you left the following comment:

    Sat reception is very slow here in the book mines, so I watch it when I returning to civilization. But I am happy to learn that your are joyfully riding again.

    That'll teach Blogger to mess with me....

    Sx

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  31. I'm absolutely sure they wanted us to make that connection...

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    Replies
    1. Ms About Last: I also think these ads are sexist... see how the nipple is banished to the kitchen and forced to do domestic chores????
      Sx

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  32. Cybill Shepherd was the wrong person to discuss it with. I'm sure Sybil Fawlty would have been more helpful.

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    Replies
    1. Nick: ...Oh. I've got celebrity names in muddle again, haven't I?
      Sx

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  33. Not been watching telly for a while so I've missed out on naked flaming nipples - that'll learn me! xxx

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    Replies
    1. Lulu: ...I have warmed to this ad... if EDF produce the nipple toy to go with the ads.... I will probably get it!
      ...I already have the polar bear from the Bird's Eye ads... *hangs head in shame* BUT I think Birds eye should make a polar bear especially for the fridge...
      I'm a sad bugger.
      Sx

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  34. Just a quick note to say that I am busy this week... will pop in from time to time.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. Yikes!

      MJ and Miss Scarlet missing! What am I to do without proper supervision?

      [panic attack]

      Delete
  35. Mr Lax: I will be keeping an eye on you!!
    Sx

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  36. Thats a lot of acronyms for one post. I'm not sure if I know what you said or not.

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    Replies
    1. Mr Epic.... it was so long ago, I haven't a clue what I said either??
      Sx

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  37. Now when I see this advert, I think of you. Is that good or bad?

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  38. Jeez, leave home for a week and look what happens. ScarBlu blogs....

    God forbid us Scots have sex toys on the telly!! Up here we have ads for Scottish Power where all the girlie appliances like the hoover and the fan fancy the boiler - because he's so hot and dependable...geddit?? see what they did there?? sighs

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    Replies
    1. Macy.... Right now I wish the weather was hot and dependable..
      Sx

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  39. A sex toy that does the housework?!

    Result!

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  40. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  41. When did blue become the new green (begs the question are EDF colour blind). Does the porn industry know that it’s traditional colour has been usurped – added to that the advert featured nipples or is it balls and lots of vibrating stuff and yet still has nothing to do with the porn industry....Paul Raymond will be spinning in his grave (powered by EDF no doubt) ....I’m guessing he is dead.....if he’s not perhaps we could cremate him along with Peter Stringfellow and provide Britain with true blue powered energy....

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    Replies
    1. Mr Logs - Mr Stringfellow as spit-roast, and why not? Thank you so much for the synopis of what this post was about! I saw the word 'green' and thought it was the previous one about the shorts - I am very behind... I can't even keep up with myself.
      Sx

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  42. This reminds me to ask, will you be live-blogging any of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee events?

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  43. Mr Lax - I think this is a jolly good idea! When is it?

    Sxx

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  44. I am still here... give me two weeks and I'll be back for good.... cue Take That on the Youtubes....
    Sx

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  45. Yay! (Beware of a blogger who claims to know me, not the beer, if you know what I mean!) :¬)

    xxx

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  46. The Queen's Jubilee? When's that then? Will there be a Freddie Mercury lookalike? Will it be full-on enough to give me a Sheer Heart Attack?

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  47. I recently purchased a new Dyson. Inexplicably, it included a crevice tool.

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  48. Well, at least one of the two weeks is over now ... there's hope after Midwinter, the sun will warm us soon.

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  49. I want You back!

    NOW.

    Achgottachgott ...

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  50. If I told you what was preventing me from blogging you would give me a good slap.
    It's the FGES competition. I know I have to do a post explaining it all. I am perfectly capable of doing this... just too lazy. I also loathe explaining things. In real life I tend to wave my hands around and point.... people either do understand or politely pretend to.... either way, this technique is not going to work on a blog post. I must do it soon... i have a good idea for the picture... but it's topical.... so the pressure is on.
    Tsk.... it's my own fault for nicking the shorts in the first place.
    Sxxxx

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  51. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought it was some kind of nipple.

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