Thursday, 24 May 2012

A Very British Affair..... The Freaking Green Elf Shorts

There is a lot going on in Britain today. As a nation we are being asked to run around with torches and an elderly lady is preparing to have a bit of a do. Oh, and most of us don't have much money, but we are still doing better than Greece.
Meanwhile, I have more important things to think about... such as preparing for the Freakin' Green Elf Shorts competition. I have props to acquire and a photographer's services to engage - when us Brits do something we like to do it properly... or not at all.

The legend of the FGES [Freakin' Green Elf shorts] began in Ohio, USA in 2004 when Andrea Knapp (a British ex-pat) bought a pair of novelty Elf Shorts for her husband George as a gag gift. For a laugh, Andrea took a photograph of George wearing the shorts and posted the pic on her blog. Andrea then decided to turn it into a caption competition, not thinking ANYONE would want to win them.... and the rest is Blogging history.

Put it this way, these shorts are more travelled, more photographed, more talked about, and more cultured than most of us, and as the current shorts wearer it is my duty to continue the caption competition... even though technically I shouldn't really have them... but less said etc, etc...

For a definitive history of the FGES please visit Infomaniac HERE



Please talk amongst yourselves whilst I prepare myself for the competition....


51 comments:

  1. First! Oh yes!

    Hang on a second....so you did steal them from Beasty and left me to take the rap!

    Humpf!

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  2. Ms Roses: :-)
    You may win them now.... it would save on postage :-)
    Sxx

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    Replies
    1. I think as you've tarnished my reputation I shall call you out madame.

      Pistols or rapiers?

      Delete
  3. Hello Miss Scarlet:
    We can think of absolutely no-one who will look more charming, stylish, glamorous, debonair, attractive, appealing or, well, green elf-like, in these shorts. We await with bated breath to see the photographic result. And, gorgeous as these shorts are, please, please, please, do not put our names in the hat [or whatever else you use] to win them. We would squabble too much about who should wear them!!!!

    Are the shorts made of something that might make one's hair stand on end....they do look very shiny!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Top Hats: They are made of 100 % polyester. Green with red trim and jingle bells. Made in China. Mens XL. Front fly opening for easy access. Stained.
      Only they are no longer stained... I think somebody washed them... possibly Mr Beastie.
      Please, please enter the competition... next week I will be posting a picture of myself wearing the shorts. It will be a silly picture. All you need to do is think of a funny caption and the shorts are yours! Along with the shorts I will also send a goodie bag, filled with Scarlet-y things. There will be calligraphy... there may even be a Cadbury's Cream Egg!!!
      Sx

      Delete
  4. Maybe They Should Be Given to Lizzy Windsor as a Pressie?

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  5. They would go really well with the gold lame jacket I'm wearing here. I could do you a deal if you like. (The gold wig is also available - a shock to learn it's not my own hair I know)

    best
    Pinky

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErVa0WsOJLo&list=UUtD4zX7j2tDMSX1W4sbQrdg&index=5&feature=plcp

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  6. Pinky String: Hello and Welcome!! Have we met before...? One loses track... I used to keep files on people but they were all corrupted during the Great Blogger switch-over of 2010... followed by the Great Blogger switch-back 0f 2011. Christ knows what the Great Blogger is going to do in 2012.
    Anyhow, just noticed... it's my Bloggy 4th birthday on June 2nd... I missed my 3rd completely.
    Sorry Pinky, I am rambling on... I will pass on your kind offer of a jacket... but I am interested in the wig.

    Sx

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  7. You're doing better than Greece for now. New data toady shows a deeper recession that originally suspected.

    Although I've been in NYC for many, many years, I'm a native buckeye and grew up in Ohio. Our dirty little secret is that this this is the ONLY type of underwear they sell out there. Ask daisyfae. She'll confirm.

    What is it going to take to get you to post more frequently? Don't do it for you. Do it for US.

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  8. Mr Banish: I remain suspicious of all data. I used to process data [financial statistics for a large organisation] and used to make it as I went along... this is why I remain suspicious, although I've always been a good guesser so probably not too much harm done...
    So these are proper Ohio knickers then!! Is it chilly in Ohio? Sort of always Christmassy??

    Sx

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  9. I'm hoping the FGES make a first-time appearance in Hungary or Franconia!

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    Replies
    1. Mr Lax: **chews on pencil and thinks: postage probably wouldn't cost tooo much to Hungary or Franconia...

      Sxx

      Delete
  10. Arn't you saving them for use in the next Panto Miss Scarlet? They would be perfect for a wee Rumplestiltskin... Or a seventh of a Dwarf. I'm sure that with a bit of stiffener they could be turned upside down and used as a perfect crowning for a double headed windsor... there has to be one still locked away in the tower surely? I haven't seen Edward about lately...

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  11. Princess: Prince Edward hasn't been allowed out in public since the Royal It's a Knockout special in 1987 [I must find footage]... strange...
    Anyhow, those shorts come down to my ankles... I am definitely a seventh of a dwarf.
    Sxx

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Where did you go Pearl??? I have a sofa...??
      Sxx

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  13. I'd like to enter to win a shot at the FGES, however I no longer have a permanent mailing address, not until July 1, and wouldn't want them to be alone and confused.

    Am I serious? Of course. I'm living on couches and whatnot. If the doorbell rings tonight, answer it. It's probably me.

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Found you!! Trust me... the FGES move so slowly that I'm sure you will be settled by the time they catch up with you!
      Sxx

      Delete
  14. Never mind the shorts, I'm more intrigued by your filing cabinet! So nice to see a sign of life from you dear girl....I miss the odd poke on a certain social networking site which shall remain brainless *cough* I mean nameless.

    Bx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bux: I noticed your absence from the aforementioned networking site????
      My files are in tatters.
      Sx

      Delete
  15. So...where are these Mythical Underdungers? We need photographical evidence!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dinah: Oh don't you worry, photographic evidence is on its way!
      Sx

      Delete
  16. Mistress MJ is thrilled that TFGES will make yet another appearance.

    But is Beast getting off scot-free in all this?

    Shouldn't we have a photo of Beast donning The Shorts as well?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MJ: Shouldn't we have a photo of Beast donning The Shorts as well?
      Well, YES, this was the original plan... but his diet isn't going well and he has gone all bashful. Git.

      Sx

      Delete
  17. These shorts are more travelled, more photographed, more talked about, and more cultured than most of us,
    Are you talking about shorts or a celebrity yogurt?

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    Replies
    1. Mr Logs: Quite possibly... or even a dancing dog.

      Sx

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  18. MJ said "Shouldn't we have a photo of Beast donning The Shorts as well?
    Miss MJ is so transparent , she just wants to perv at me in a state of undress Miss Scarlet .....

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    Replies
    1. Mr Beastie: You either don the shorts or I'll flash up some pics of you in your purple lurex posing pouch, what's it to be????
      Sx

      Delete
  19. Just the shorts? Nothing else. Can't wait!!1

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    Replies
    1. John: I WILL ALSO BE WEARING A TOP!!!
      Sx

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  20. Looks like a cloth for wiping up unicorn semen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Whirly: It quite possibly is!
      Sx

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  21. Replies
    1. Mr Chairman: Or nationally cute elves? You decide.
      Sx

      Delete
  22. My legs were made to wear these. This is my purpose in life. Green is my color. None of this is true, but I want them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms Nellie: Exactly my reaction when I first saw the shorts!!
      Please stay tuned.

      Sx

      Delete
  23. There was talk of a swelling. Are you alright?

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  24. Pat: ...I think the swelling was Rog's overactive imagination!
    Sx

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  25. i wondered where the damn things were, sugar! LOL i may have to enter this year...;) xoxoxo

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  26. I wonder if he knows his llamas from his alpacas?

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  27. The sisterhood of the travelling pants, eh?

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  28. I think you've photographed them like that to sell on ebay. Classic throw them on the bed shot.

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    Replies
    1. Joe, I doubt they still look like that. I know for a fact there were stains when I got them, and there were bells missing.

      I dread to think who else has worn them since I shipped them off to Donns

      Delete
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  30. Well, I don't know, the woman down the road has been wearing a pair of identical shorts for several months. I hate to break it to you, but I think a cunningly-substituted fake may be involved. Can you show us any proof of purchase or manufacturer's guarantee?

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  31. Well, it's about time, I must say.

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  32. ...I am prepping myself as we speak... legs - exfoliated... bushes in the backyard.... nicely trimmed...
    Good grief, the things I do for this blog...
    Sx

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  33. If you described them as Olympic Torch shorts you could sell them for tens of thousands....but I don't advise anyone to put a match anywhere near them...

    ReplyDelete