Wednesday, 5 December 2012

A sign of the times... or just my time?

At 8.00am this morning I was standing on my patio having my first cigarette of the day. When I had finished it I returned inside via the back door just as Mr Blue was coming down the stairs, wearing his underpants and a scruffy T-shirt. I held the door open to usher him outside, mistaking him for the dog that I haven't owned for three years.

It was a normal cigarette.

A sign of the times indeed.

93 comments:

  1. Poor chap. Would have been even worse had you fixed a lead to his neck.

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    1. Dicky: ...or tried to throw a ball for him... I do try to make sure he always has a clean bowl of fresh water.
      Sx

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  2. And did he obediently trot out - wagging his tail?

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  3. Why does he have stairs in his underpants?

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    1. Mr Scurrilous: Do I need a comma? I am a little forgetful at the moment... I will re-jig it and see what happens.

      Sx

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    2. There, I have taken the stairs out of his pants. He is more comfortable now.
      Sx

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  4. But now you have made my comment look silly.

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    1. Mr Scurrilous: Well, you were quite right! I was being lazy wiv me language. All sorted now.
      Sx

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  5. You're fine unless he tries to lick his balls.

    In which case, he won't be needing you anymore.

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    1. MJ: He will always need me... I have hidden the can opener to ensure this.
      Sx

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    2. Hide the cork screw...you'll have undying love then too!
      xx

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    3. Roses: The truth of it is that he's a much better cook/host than me, BUT, I have a wicked way with a bottle of Fairy and a pair of rubber gloves.
      Sx

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  6. Yeah, Boy could tell you loads of stories like that.

    Yesterday, I was incoherent. We agreed he would talk to me in short, clear sentences.

    There's no improvement today either.

    *sigh*

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    1. Roses: I was watching The Real Housewives of New York City yesterday [I don't know why either], and I didn't understand a word they were saying. I'm going to try again today as a test of my coherence.
      Sx

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    2. Believe me when I say that no one in NYC can understand you either.

      I have friends (albeit Canadian) who can't watch Coronation Street because they don't understand a word.

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    3. MJ: The Real Housewives is such a peculiar show... they just row and argue about the slightest thing..one minute everything is fine, I pop out to make a cup of tea, I come back and the fur is flying - literally... and I haven't a clue why. They are such an odd bunch of women.
      Sx

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    4. "odd"?

      Perhaps you meant, psychotic?

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    5. Roses: I did but I was being polite :-)
      It did make a little more sense this afternoon, but it was still bonkers.
      Sx

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  7. Which one of you was barking?

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    1. Mr Bene: I think I might have to hold my paw up to that one.
      Sx

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  8. My Dear Miss Scarlet.... Your absent minded door opening I'm sure would have lead to creating quite a thrill for your neighbours had Mr Blue been more obedient and gone outside to mark his territory....

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    1. Prinny: He might have caused the cows to stampede!
      Sx

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  9. i depend on the fact that neither of us sees anything as well as we used to, sugar! probably why we're still married! *snickering* xoxoxoxox

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  10. If poor Mr Blue catches his death of a cold outside in his underpants, will you move up one slot in the royal line of succession?

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    1. Mr Lax: I think there might be about 60 million people in front of me.
      Sx

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  11. I found it charming.

    Did Mr. Blue see it the same way? :-)

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl: Thankfully Mr Blue saw the funny side and nearly choked on his cup of tea!
      Sx

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  12. I'm getting confused now.Can I have a normal cigarette, please?

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  13. Dinah: Have you been smoking the abnormal cigarettes, Dinah???
    Sx

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  14. Replies
    1. Mr Maps: I get your point. Sometimes I partake of the Irish.
      Sx

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  15. Poor Mr. Blue, being compared to a dog!

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    1. John: Neither are capable of wiping work surfaces and both play with balls... an easy mistake for me to make :-)
      Sx

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  16. I'm not sure if I should be more concerned by your state of mind or your dog's dress sense....

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    1. Andy: Now you mention it, my dog took pride in his personal grooming, so he might be hurt by the comparison.
      Sx

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  17. Sounds like the best place for him. :D

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    1. Mr Joey: Awwwwww.... it was a cold and frosty morning... perhaps I ought to buy him some M&S vests for Christmas.
      Sx

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  18. BWUHAHHAAAAAA ... *cough* heheh ...

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    1. Mr Mags: *Passes the cough medicine*
      Sx

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  19. I hope Mr Blue doesn't start frotting against a visitor's leg with his lipstick out!

    I think it's called "having a senior moment" I had one the other day, hunting high and low for my reading glasses and all the while they were perched on top of my head.

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    1. Mitzi: I would like to have the occasional youthful moment to break up all these senior moments I keep having.
      ...and I will book an appointment with the optician.
      Sx

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  20. Get the electronic ones, you f=don't have to go outside.

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    1. Mr Chairman: Okay... the following sentence is the most ridiculous sentence you will ever read in your whole lifetime:-
      I read that electronic cigarettes are bad for you.

      I think we should all pretend that I didn't write that sentence and we should all move swiftly on.
      Sx

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    2. It's true - so are cars (they can kill you too). It's the nicotine - but at least they don't have the carcinogens, particulates and tars (fags, that is).

      Fake fags are better than real ones - if you'll forgive the expression.

      Delete
  21. [off topic]

    Whilst searching for some electrical info recently, I happened upon this flyer dealing with changes to the UK electrical code from 2004.

    This may explain some of the dangerous electrical problems with that farm house fiasco a few months ago -- some idiot did not match the wiring colors corectly!

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    1. Mr Lax: Indeed they didn't! And some things like the smoke alarms weren't connected to anything at all! AAAARRRGGHHH.

      Anyhow, are you home safe and sound now?

      Sx

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    2. Bad electrical wiring and no wiring on the smoke detectors? Lazy and stupid: a deadly combination!

      Back in Texas now. Big cat homecoming scene.

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    3. Mr Lax: Will the kitties be humpy with you for being away?
      I remember returning after a week away and my cat glared at me, surveyed my holdall, sniffed my holdall, sat on my holdall, then peed all over my holdall.
      So be warned!
      Sx

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  22. Great post,I really like your article

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    1. I know, it's a fab article, isn't it.
      Sx

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  23. Trying to imagine what a normal cigarette might be ... I used to like the candy ones, but I thought they were normal xxx

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    1. Lulu, do you remember the chewing gum that came disguised as a cigarette? Banned now. I loved the candy cigarettes.
      Sx

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  24. You had a dog that wore a scruffy t-shirt and underwear if only Nationwide or That's life was still on you could probably have got him on one or even both of the shows.... The ciggie is the first clue that you are not Marian Crump - a none smoker like all my failed relationships …..Although she did own a dog but I never saw it in T-shirt or underwear....

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    1. It is probably best that Ms. Blue's 'enslaved' canine did not feature on "Nationwide". The typical 'actions' of Roger Bolton and Sue Lawley as they taunt Ms. Blue would have incited Denis Thatcher to lash out with protestations that Ms. Blue was being "stitched up by bloody BBC poofs and Trots", like his wife was back in '83.

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    2. Mr Logs, ok, it's a fair cop. I fibbed about being Marion.
      And Jezabel, Hello and welcome, quite frankly I'm happy to report that the BBC have never fixed it for me. Or my dog.

      Sx

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  25. Oh, I seem to have caught up with this post rather belatedly. You are blogging somewhat erratically!

    I guess you realised your mistake when you shouted "walkies!!" and Mr Blue looked terrified and rushed back to the settee with a packet of Hobnobs.

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    1. Nick, I am catching up with my replies, somewhat belatedly.... and I don't know what's going on either.
      Sx

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  26. I don't seem to know what time it is lately. But then I have been sick so this is my excuse for the moment.

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    1. Steve, I hope you are feeling better now.... I am still bemused, confused and lost in time, I am looking for a good excuse for this.
      Sx

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  27. A sign of the time, I'd say, no one can be expected to make sense of the world at 8 o'clock in the morning.

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  28. I hope you are safe from all the rains and floods and Mayan End-Of-The-World-Thingy.

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  29. Ack, I didn't remember to do my replies.... I sort of fizzled out. Apologies.

    If the rain and floods don't get me then the end of the world probably will.
    Sx

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  30. Ha! Did you have your caffeine fix before the incident?

    Last week on a shopping trip, I had black shoe polish on my list. Imagine my surprise when I got home and dug into my shopping bag to find black nail polish instead. I don't even remember picking that up or wandering in the beauty supply section!

    Hope you're safe, warm, and cozy.

    Merry Christmas, Scarlet & Mr Blue!

    -----((*))--
    ------*o*---
    ----*o*o*--
    --*o*o*o*o*
    o*o*-]o[-*o*o

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  31. MERRY CHRISTMAS MRs BLUE!XX

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  32. All you wish for 2013.xox

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  33. Happy Christmas Scarlet all the best...hic...

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  34. A very Merry Christmas and an exceptionally wonderful, dry, New Year to all and everyone!!!
    Sxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  35. Merry (and Dry) Christmas, Miss Scarlet!

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  36. Checking in to see that you haven't been washed away in the latest festive flood Scarls..
    Must be OK if you're still smoking.. and Mr Blue is still doing as he's told.... Merry Christmas!

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  37. One day late but Merry Christmas to you. I like how you write. Not demanding MORE in the coming year mind you, just saying I like it.

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  38. So... did Santa bring you your James Mason bolster pillowcase?

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  39. 2 days late wishing you a Happy Christmas, sorry!

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  40. La pollution fait des ravages !!! :)

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  41. Crabbers!!! This is exactly how it is! Time is a ravaging pollutant, it must be stopped!
    Happy Christmas! Lovely to see you again.
    Sxxxx

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  42. Happy Christmas! A toi également Scarlet ... Bises d'un Santon sur le retour !!

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  43. Fashion update - what exactly is Mr Blue wearing today? Still underpants and scruffy T shirt or something plus élégant?

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  44. Socks :))) And a small bandana !??

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  45. Happy New Year, Miss Scarlet!

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  46. Happy New Year, Scarlet & Mr Blue!

    Cheers and Best Wishes for a Spectacular New Year full of good fortune, good fun, and good food to share with good friends!

    (*-)
    _I_

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  47. HAppy New Year to you and Mr Blue my lovely Miss Scarlet,
    May 2013 be all that you wish for...

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  48. Love it. 8am and first fag of the day. You are so old skool Scarlet - never ever change, lady!

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  49. Sad to learn that Eryl quit.

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  50. Yes, it is very sad, we are all dropping like flies. I will try to make an effort next week. I won't quit, 'Mr Mags, I will always at least be around to comment.
    Sx

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  51. I clench my hands on my chest ... did someone monitor the data: Is the average lifespan of a blog around six years? Did we make it into 2013 (!) just do meet the reaper ?! Ohdearohdear ... may I clench my hands on your chest, just to make sure that you are still here?

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  52. Ha ha!! I am still here... I am waiting for a nomination for the crappiest blogger award.
    Sx

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