...a bit of a flibbertigibbet....
Does this mean what I think it means? You Brits are so cryptic.
Mr Banish: It can mean whatever you want it to mean...Sx
When did they do away with "Dock Leaves"?
Prinny: They were usurped by wet wipes in March 2003.Sx
I still cut up pages from the newspaper. Give me something to read while...
Dicky: Do you remember the loo roll that was printed with crossword puzzles? And why is it that men spend so much time in the loo?Questions, questions...Sx
Fold — why not just use a trowel?
Mr Lax: What are you thinking??? I use the trowel for my foundation.Sx
LOL the never ending debate! xoxoxox
Savvy: It seems the debate has developed an unsavoury flavour.Sx
Hello Miss Scarlet:Now we know why we gave up the television 30 years ago.....even the advertisements are beyond all understanding these days!!!We do rather miss your 'loo series' will it have a second flush?
The Top Hats: Indeed!! I still have some toileting moments on my phone to transcribe.Sx
My wise old Gran used to say "Itchy bum, money to come". Do you remember Izal shiny white toilet paper, found mainly in public toilets and cheap guesthouses? I wouldn't recommend scrunching that. There is nothing worse when one's index finger pierces through cheap toilet paper. I only use premium toilet paper like Andrex Kitten Soft, folded neatly in half followed by a wet wipe just to make sure and finish my ablusions with a dab of estee lauder's Youthdew.
Mitzi: We had the shiny white toilet paper at school... it hurt... and was entirely ineffective... almost child abuse.Sx
I have no desire to know what you wipe your bum with, or how you use it - so long as it's effective.
Mr Chairman: Don't use the white shiny stuff. See above.Sx
There's a debate? Really? I can only say one thing...bidet....
Mr Bene: The bidet. It never really caught on in the UK did it? Ended up being used for washing feet; storing goldfish; as a water feature with added pebbles... but rarely for it's true purpose. Way too French.Sx
Not IZAL? It's like bloody sandpaper!
Good evening, toileting aficionados, I will be replying to comments tomorrow morning as I am forecast to be getting up very, very early (before 8am). But I notice that to date commenters have been less than revealing, which is how it should be.Until tomorrow....Sxx
I Used To Fold But It's All Behind Me Now...
Tony: *Groan* :-)SX
can we add conditional variables like - time, texture of 'paper', 1's or 2's etc?
Wendy: Most certainly. I will also be adding these variables to any future Friday Flush posts.Sx
I can't run the vid - have to wait for my 15 year to come and fix our "run it this time" thingy. Is this about toilet paper? Our family uses enough to package the universe, fold scrunch, the lot.
Jody: Well, there is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper... I am also well stocked... especially after the kitchen roll incident.Sx
I mean my 15 year old, sorry my comment above is incomprehensible.
Jody: This is fine, Jody, the Scarlet Blue Blog aspires to incomprehension.Sx
Butt-scoot across a rug.
Hello and Welcome, Geiger! On occasion, that's what my dog used to do. Until we fitted coconut matting throughout - imagine!Sx
Toilet Duck - their feathers are very gentle
Dr J: Now you know that's just silly, don't you?Sx
It's all crap! If you scrunch, you don't know where your fingers and thumbs are!.....could get messy! x
John: I think you have said what everybody else is thinking :-)Sx
Fold.Someone probably spent hours with a slide rule, working out the placement of the perforations...it would be unkind not to use them as fold lines as well as tear lines.And, please, never say Izal again! shudder...
Dinah: I didn't know that shiny toilet paper had a name, but we shall never use that name again. Not on this blog - where it will be forever known as shiny toilet paper.Sx
There is another way Squirt and air-dryonce you go Japanes paper just seems so obsolete....
Mr Blogs: [Notice how I have decided not to call you Mr Logs on this post] - an interesting solution, but is this air dry method time consuming?Sx
You make it sound like hanging out with meat and kippers in a shed at the back of the country (... Which technicaly probabaly means Scotland). It's quicker than hand drying but slower than a supersonic plane....
The Royal Navy Base in Singapore (HMS TERROR) had the extra-shiny toilet paper. The interesting part was that every other sheet had a watermark of an official (royal?) seal and words to the effect "PROPERTY OF HM GOVERNMENT" (or some such).
Mr Lax: Did the Government want it back after use???Sx
Someone already mentioned ducks. the Romans (in the latter pahse of the empire) used chicklets; medieval monks wrote about leaves of gardening plants for the matter - forgot where I read this, but can't be arsed to look it up now, sorry. What does the lady in the last picture say - beehive? BTW I needed some approaches to understand what this video is all about - and simply can not figure out what the dog ... remarkable clean little doggy ... German official toilet paper, used in the armed forces and throughout civilian administrations too, carries no seal of approval (there is none, not even the shitty infantry ...), it's of undefinable colour, liquit repellant and sometimes even unfoldable.I treat my arse with Aldi 4-ply extra soft and a splash of L'nuit de l'homme ...
Mr Mags: Unfoldable toilet paper????!!! This sounds quite sadistic?Undefinable colours are usually puce or lilac.Sx
PS: At the Luftwaffe Museum in Berlin, the paper hand towels are also that undetermined color Herr Mago mentions.
I hope they carried these little wooden pieces ... yep, the "seal of approval" would be a splinter in whereevrerithurts ... (enjoy)
....blimey have you two been using wood-chip wallpaper to wipe your bums or something???I do not wish to think about having a splinter in my nether regions.. but thank you for the tune.Sx
Shiny toilet paper??? Almost on a par with "hit and run" hole in the ground loos that they used to have here. I got caught in one that was attached to a washing machine....just as it was emptying. I wouldn't have minded except it was in a cafe..and behind a frosted-glass door...and the soap suds went up to my knees...and I had to come out eventually...
Rosie: Erm.... this sounds like an experience that I'm pleased never to have had... also sounds like you needed a lot more than toilet paper. I hope someone offered you a fluffy bathrobe when you emerged from behind the frosted glass.Sx
I use the houseboy's sleeve.
MJ: What happens if the houseboy is wearing a T shirt?Sx
I have been a little under the weather yesterday and today, but intend to go blogging tonight and tomorrow morning :-)Sx
Hope you'r feeling better! xo
Some leaves make excellent wipes, but there is a story (probably one of the urban myths)here about a squaddie on jungle patrol who mistook "useful" leaves for those of a stinging tree (like nettles, but a million times worse) One version of the story holds that the soldier died. I think it more likely that he was no longer fit for service, physically or mentally!
Dinah... I think even shiny paper is preferable to this!SB
The Small Object of Desire's father reckons the most efficient use of toilet paper is to tear a flap in the middle, poke your finger through, do the wipe and use the flap of paper to wipe your fingernail.
It's taken me sometime to recover from this comment, Kev, hence the late reply... but all I can say is 'ick'.SB
You did better than me. It was only our second conversation, too.
!! He could have at least saved it until the third.Sx
I think some things are best left to the imagination don't you? Geez we are getting more like France every day. :D
There are thousands of things best left to the imagination... thankfully I will resist writing a list of them.SB
As a kid, going to the bothroom was said (in French) "Do your groceries", JUST DON'T ASK ME WHY!My dad told us we must use only three squares of toilet paper, so most of the time, I came out of the bathroom with "groceries" up to my elbow!!!When my mother was growing up, they used pages of the phone book or sewing pattern.I just hate having to go in pulic bathrooms, but it seems we cannot avoid it, one day or another, one has to do what the arse wants to do so I always bring in my back pack plenty of folded 3-ply Ultra-Soft Cottonelle in a zip-lock bag.
Oh Jon! I'm not surprised that you are always now well stocked up. The supply of good toilet tissue should always be plentiful!SB
Miss Scarlet, be my Valentine! [mmmmwhaaa!]
Let me guess... you are saying this to all the girls??? Like you did last year and left us all heartbroken.... TSK.Sxx
I think it was Savannah who persuaded me that over was the only way.As for scrunch or fold: both:)
Pat!!! There is no way that you scrunch!! No way!! You are a neat and tidy folder, like me... I try and forget that you admitted to scrunching!!Sxx
What a relief to find you are still going strong and debating the finer points of life. It has been known for The Colin as part of austerity measures to only allow two sheets per customer so fold darling always fold. xx
Miss Mousey... two sheets! I would have to use the fold and dab method with only two sheets.SB
Now I am worried about those "hamburgers" I had in Berlin!
Be afraid Mr Lax, be very afraid.... it's a message from the Mafia.SB
I am no longer feeling the need to throw random kisses across the blogosphere...I AM IN THE FOULEST MOOD EVER.You know when you just want to run around saying Feck off, Feck off, Feck off, to anyone who so much as looks at you, well, as they say, THAT.SB
It is okay, I am feeling much better now. I have reorganised myself and have watched Skyfall :-)Sx
Dragging my body around like a decaying lump of steak... that sort of thing. I will try to summon a better image of myself and hopefully write something when I am feeling fit as a flea.Sx
I fall between the two camps I think. I wrap it around my hand several times. I guess I am a roller. But not a holy roller. Come over and give me a limerick at your pleasure. Also am I the only woman in the world who does not find Daniel Craig sexy. He looks like a shrivelled up leprauchaun to me?!
Emma! Blimey! I have succumbed th Daniel's charms. I like what he does with his shirt cuffs, it's these little things that can turn a girl's head.sx