Friday, 27 May 2011

Spat Out!

Back from the dentists. He was a very nice man. I have a temporary filling and have to be referred to the hospital as the wisdom tooth has to go. Apparently the wisdom tooth has been pushing through, but skin from the gum and cheek have been trying to grow over it; because this has been going on for ten years there is a considerable buildup of scar tissue. The dentist said that he'd never seen such an extensive buildup. I imagine he was marvelling at how well I'd coped with it, either that or he thought I was an idiot. He was also curious to know where the wisdom tooth on the other side of my mouth was. I don't know. Never had a sign of it. I think I might have noticed if it had been pulled out?  He couldn't get any x-rays as my mouth wouldn't open, but at the hospital they will take the x-rays from the side so I won't need to go through the palaver of having something stuffed in my mouth. I will have to wait to find out when all this happens. The good news is that this bit will be free on the NHS. Other than all the things I knew about, my teeth are in pretty good nick! But I will be taught how to floss.
One other thing worth mentioning is that he said that I was TOO YOUNG to have chronic jaw problems. Today I will glorify in the description of being TOO YOUNG. It will make up for last week, won't it Mr Beastie.... *mutter, mutter*

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Chewed Up

I woke up and my mouth was locked in the closed position. I remember thinking that it was some kind of joke and that it was only temporary. It wasn't. I was eleven. My mum, although possibly delighted with the prospect of having a mute daughter, took me to the doctor and then the hospital. Plenty of X-rays followed and finally the hospital dentist gave me a set of exercises to perform for whenever my jaw seizes up. My jaw seizes up on average once every three or four months. This is fine, it's a minor problem to live with, obviously I'm a bit rubbish at blow jobs but I try to make up for this in other ways, i.e I always do the washing up and have developed a unique fingering technique. I digress. Yes, a locked jaw is a minor problem to live with until an impacted wisdom tooth is added to the equation. All this unpleasant activity happens on the left hand side of my mouth, hence I tend to chew on the right hand side. Again, this isn't too much of a hardship. Well, it wasn't too much of a hardship until a filling fell out on the right hand side making it almost impossible for me to chew anything at all. Food is being liquidised. Fish fingers are being sucked up through a straw, and I am grateful for the abundance of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs that is on offer at the finer breakfasting establishments. I am in pain. A lot of it. I am in so much pain that I even have an appointment with the dentist on Friday. I haven't been since 1999, which should give you some indication as to how bad I'm feeling.