...a bit of a flibbertigibbet....
According to the people at Certain Dri, you should apply your antiperspirant at bedtime!
MJ: Well, I suppose this is a useful tip if you are prone to sleep-walking up and down the High Street in your M&S silk pyjamas?Sx
Save Water, Shower With A Friend!
Mr XL: In 1976 we had to share bath water. Typically the youngest in the family went last. Sob.Sx
Now you tell me Miss Scarlet... I could have done with some of that out here during the drought. Dried handfuls lavender flowers held under the armpits can only absorb so much in pongy weather...
Oh dear. Did you try bicarb of soda... or should that be baking powder...? I am always getting those two in a muddle.Sx
Remember the old Amplex ads? Withering looks being directed at obliviously pongy individual and the whisper "Somebody isn't using Amplex."
You can still get Amplex! But I remember it in a purple plastic bottle...?I remember one called Tickle. It had a massive ball.Sx
It's the bicarb, Scarlet... over here, we call it baking soda. And of course, we do have baking powder as well, just to confuse things even more.I could never go 72 hours between applications. I get smelly no matter what I use...Are your dental woes over and done with now?
but I love playing in my bath and massaging my body with a power-shower. Deoderant or not I' bathing. Not sure how I'll deal with the drout, maybe splash about in a couple of inches of water, or a washbasin, rather than a tubful. the share with a friend sounds interesting, can we FedEx bathwater?
But what if your underwear is only good for 18 hours???
Macy: You raise an interesting point. This is something the marketing people haven't really thought through.Sx
Ponita: Soda and powder? Oh dear, I would get in a right pickle, things would end up frothing when they shouldn't be and vice versa.I still have dental problems and I am waiting for my referral to hospital for the wisdom tooth extraction.Wendy: Wet wipes!! Where would we be without wet wipes...?? Wet wipes and 72hr deodorant - who needs water?Sx
If I visit later this year, do I need to bring my own water?
Being in the dryest part of Britain, I have been taking watering-cans to the bathroom, and then lugging my bathwater downstairs to water the garden.Only after I have bathed, you understand. Sometimes I even get dressed again.
Mr XL: No, don't worry... I shall give you a rub down with a wet wipe.Dave: Are you saying that you water the garden - nekkid???Sx
It's the only way to keep in touch with nature.
Tsk... why fix something that isn't broke...Sx
Dave: Apologies, Dave, you caught me in mid-faff. I will promise to stop faffing now in order to concentrate on your nekkid watering.Sx
Oh that's good I'm not keen on baths or showers.
Is Dave naked gardening again?
As I Only Bathe once-a-week I will have to wait a wee bit longer for technology to catch up with my needs...
Mr Joey: You can't kid a kidder!!With all that bling I know you take pride in your appearance.MJ: Naked by a campfire? Imagine the whiff of burning bush!Tony: I'm sure it won't be far behind you... sheet sized wet wipes and fresh deodorant from a soda syphon are heading your way.Sx
Tony: I try and try to comment on your blog but I don't seem to have the key to get in!I would like some of those nice pills that you're talking about today.. they may get me over my mid-blog crisis.Sx
I hope it's only a mild blog crisis.
Mr Mags: It's as bad as the dimples in my dumplings.Sx
Wot, Tony still bathes? I can't remember when I last had a bath. Nowadays we only use the bath to keep the coal in.
The only thing that would prevent me from becoming whiffy for 72 hours is a flame thrower.
Vigorously nodding my head in agreement with all the comments above. :)
This is the "reduce to the max" phase I think.I'd really like a Dimple now. I am sure your dumplings are undimpled.
"dimples in my dumplings"Pix, please!
Don't want to be on hand when that 72-hour deodorant expires...Pearl
Were you the little ginger girl (Olive Jekyll is the name that springs to mind) who passed out under Lt.Col. Rodney Spiers (retd)(Mathematics) in ’85? And if so, were you on the Ski trip to St. Anton in ’81 with Georgina Dewy when the fat girl dented that Fiat Uno in the car park? For we are missing several ‘Economics: A Core Text’ by Nobbs.
Nick: I don't believe you either! You fib! Your blog always smells of freshly squeezed lavender with a hint of mint.Eryl: I can't imagine you ever being whiffy... I just can't.. whenever I see your avatar I smell cake and bread and hot off the prees paper.Mr Fresh Garden: Hello and Welcome! Well, obviously you always smell nice.Mr Mags: I don't know what's wrong with me. I am fidgety.Mr XL: Ha!! I am flexible but I don't think I can twist myself round enough to get a good shot...Mrs Westmacott: Hello and Welcome!!No, I was the charming strawberry blonde who passed out under a Fiat Uno during a car maintenance workshop.Lt.Col. Rodney Spiers always preferred the girls to be on top.Sx
I just wanted to ask Mrs Westmacott what exactly the phrase "passed out under Lt.Col. Rodney Spiers (retd)(Mathematics) in ’85" would mean.
Mr Mags: It could mean numerous things... for example Lt.Col. Rodney Spiers used to enjoy putting on a bit of a display in his flying machine...Sx
My mother used to bath me in the kitchen sink!
Mitzi: So did mine. With Wrights coal tar soap.Sx
The strawberry blonde? Not one of the late Leslie Crowther’s twin girls? Which one were you dear? Lindy or Betty? I trust that all that trouble with the persistent fistula is all in the past now, thank goodness for Rectogesic ointment is what the Rt. Rev. Tarbox used to say (sadly now gone on before).And you are so right about the dear old Lt.Col. he certainly made sure that his girls in the lower sixth always came first. There’s many an old Addicockian who has told me that on getting the faintest whiff of Neat’s foot oil that it brings a flush to her cheek. (By the way his thin volume “Neat's-foot Oil: A Glove's Best Friend” is now available on Amazon).Well good to hear from you dear, I’m so sorry to hear that you still suffer from the heavy sweating. Has it affected your chances of a good match?
Mrs W: No, alas I am not a relation of Leslie Crowther. Nor am I the poor unfortunate with the fistula and perspiration problems... I am Scarlet, Mrs W, surely you remember me? I only stayed with you for a week because I was on loan from the local comprehensive as part of a cultural exchange scheme.I do remember old Tarbox though. He detained me each evening in his study where he lectured me on leather and taught me the Addicockian method with wax and polish. "Rub harder", he would cry in his customary falsetto, as I tried to reach into the crevices with my chamois.... it is an instruction that has yet to fail me.Sx
Scarlet!Oh Ivan the chamois, (rupicapra rupicapra), he was a very testy fellow, hated his Thursday wax I well recall. You left him behind, no doubt due to your hasty departure. It might be a small crumb of comfort for you to know that Mrs Tarbox had lost her sense of smell many years before during the blitz, and simply had no idea what you and the Rt. Rev. Tarbox had been engaged in. She went happily to meet her maker three years later, after the Reverend accidentally connected her washing machine to the gas mains rather than the water supply, (we had a jumble sale to raise funds to re-roof the gymnasium) You must forgive me Scarlet if I have confused you with another girl, as so many have passed through my hands over the years. Local Comprehensive you say? It all comes back to me now; the girl that had the fondness for condensed milk, the little chamois, You had an uncle, something to do with public lavatories.
Mrs. Westmacott is a living encyclopedia! What a gift!
There is officially a drought here in the east. I'm washing myself in strawberry juice now.
Mrs W: Good heavens! Ivan! What a horn he had! Only the one... the other one fell off during a frenetic game of hockey and superglue was no help on this occasion.You can do a lot with a tin of Carnation - don't knock it, and I am now profiting from the lavs especially since I got permission to build an adjoining tea room.Mr Mags: She has sent us into a Google frenzy....Sx
Dave: There is no drought in Devon! It is freezing cold and keeps raining. I'm still wearing my cable knit cardy.SX
I have a spare bed...
whew, thought i'd lost you.
ahhhhhh ... hahere you are, dimples dumpling and all well with the world.Crisis brought me out in a right old lather, a sort of dry sweat with swearing.Do people still have kitchen sinks, I've got flowers (I think they're flowers, its what I call them) growing in mine. Mind, where did we leave the baby?And,I'm so glad 'sulking' is barred no more ... best way out of a crisis is deep sulk and a brisk lie-down.
Only one problem with 72 hour deodorant - how do you remember if you've been wearing it for 72 hours or only 48 or 24? Suppose you were convinced it was only 48 hours, confidently breezed into that important meeting, only to be assailed by a distinct underarm odour?
Dave: Are you suggesting I wear a bed???Miss Norma: I am just having a bit of a moment... I think I'm alright now...?Mr Kevin: Yes, banning sulking was rash of me as I do generally have a major sulk at least once a month.Whatever you do, don't throw the flowers out with the bath water. Or the sink water. Probably best to get one of those large tub things to collect the rainwater in as well.Nick: This will come as no surprise, but Apple are making an app for that. Just stick your phone in your armpit and all will be well.Sx
Having had a cold, wet past few weeks, with more to come if the forecast is anything to go by, this talk of drought fills me with glum.I would write more but it appears that my 24 hour girdle has expired…
It's warmer and dryer here in the east. Come for a holiday. Bring your own deodorant.
Time for a shower, dear ...
Kev: I believe the drought applies to the South East and Norfolk. We are being left out in the cold. And the wet.My string vest is only adequate for 3hrs at a time. Can't say more.Dave: I'm thinking of moving to Norfolk... or perhaps investing in a beach hut or something... I just want to see some sun!Mr Mags: Yes, I know... I'm thinking of something to post about. But my teeth have calmed down and I've sussed out how to use a deodorant.... what is there left to write about?Sx
what is there left to write about?We’d like a peek inside your medicine cabinet, please.
Erm... I believe it's filled with rejected cosmetic products; a bottle of Blazing Blue nail varnish and an elastoplast. There is a pink ointment that may be of some interest though....?Sx
Does it relieve chronic itch?Let's have a peek inside your knickers drawer while we're at it.
How about a photo of your biscuit tin?
I'm still hoping for a peek at those dimpled dumplings!