Oh for pity's sake, Jimmy is not Mapstew, Mapstew is not Jimmy. Daphne Wayne-Bough IS an incredibly posh lady from Kensington who pretends to live in Belgium. Gorilla Bananas IS really a panda. Scarlet Blue IS not ginger. Madame Defarge IS a florist in Iceland - no, not that Iceland - I mean the one in the shopping mall in Nork Rise, Surrey. Mrs Pouncer DOES live in a flat above a chip shop... but not in Reading... it's in BASILDON. Dave East IS Benny Hill's younger brother - which explains a lot, I think. Ponita IS Canadian. And a nurse. Macy IS Scottish. MJ DOES like young men with clothes on. Mr Beastie isn't actually that keen on bananas, but can do tricks with a cucumber and a wet flannel. Roger Peacock IS Ian McShane. Mr Scurrilous IS scurrilous. Pearl IS a pearl. Mr LX DOES have large candy. Mr Mags DOES have a large brain, although in a foreign language. Roses only drinks tea and her dressing gown is baby blue AND it is not fluffy. Princess IS an excellent seamstress and finally, Pat DOES have a lovely new sofa.
Of course, I may have got some of this wrong, but really, does any of this matter? Just so long as we can exchange comment over a cup of tea and a biscuit, does it matter?
I doubt anyone is reading this blog anymore, but here's a tune to relieve me of my headache just in case there is.