Tuesday, 13 December 2011

I've Got It UP!!!!

Yes, me AGAIN, blowing through your Blogrol like a big gusty wind round a chimney pot on a dark, dark night. I have been told to expect wind of an exceptional nature on Thursday AND this is not a reference to Mr Beastie's chick-pea curry. Britain is to be battered by stormy weather... will there be anything left of Scotland come Friday? Will Santa be blown off course and end up delivering a sack full of iPhones and Xboxes to a bewildered Muskox in the Artic? Let's hope not.
Meanwhile, this is the last post in my blogging marathon; I was going to do a write up of my toileting experience in Minehead, but a) I've forgotten what it was like and b) that's not really very festive is it?

So, here is my tree... the one you didn't think existed... it is too big to go in the space provided in the previous post, so I have put it here instead.

This tree is about twenty years old... and so are the decorations! Let's just say that back in the early nineties the look of the traditional Victorian Christmas tree was all the rage... and let's face it the more lights, tinsel and shiny bits on a tree the better!

And I think it's only right that I finish this Christmas themed marathon with another Christmas tune... this one was the UK Christmas no.1 in 1954 and was no.1 for 5 weeks. Let's hope our current X Factor winners can do as well.

Erm... think I ought to go and write some cards out now... and perhaps buy some presents.... where is the Baileys?

Monday, 12 December 2011

Christmas Tree....!!!!

Yes, me again, popping up on your blogrol or Google Reader like a pulsating pimple in the middle of your face on the eve of a Christmas party. Apologies. I expect you are sitting on the edge of your seats waiting for me to reveal the wonder that is my Christmas tree...
Okay, see this space...


...this is the space where a picture of my Christmas tree will go when I have found and decorated it. I also have to find a celebrity to turn on the fairy lights. I have contacted Mr Beastie but he is under the weather with Manflu, made more complicated by a funny rash... and a funny walk...
Anyhow, I hope that by the end of today I will have the above space filled with a picture of my Christmas tree.
As an aside, and probably only relevant to those in the UK, did anyone see Black Mirrors on Channel 4 last night? Rather chilling. It was written by Charlie Brooker and Konnie Huq. It has just dawned on me that the two lead characters were loosely based on themselves. Chilling indeed.

Anyhow... tree to find.... tree to decorate... And tomorrow will be the last post in my blogging marathon and we will all be able to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

All I Want For Christmas is a New PC....

This is the fifth day of my blogging marathon, she says, smiling through gritted teeth... and I am popping up again on blogrols and blog readers like a mole hill on a manicured lawn, but let's cheer ourselves with the knowledge that this bizarre experiment will be over on Tuesday. I'm surprised I've got this far. I know what I'm posting on Tuesday [kind of] and today was simply going to be a picture of the freshly decorated Christmas tree in my living room... but since this doesn't exist yet, I can't show you. Maybe I will do the tree today. My tree is a fake one. It came from Woolworths in 1992, so it has seen better days, but by the time I've covered it in tinsel and baubles it barely shows that it's bare. Every year, since 2005, I get it out of its shabby old box and think I really should throw it away, but to be honest I'm a little bit sentimental about it now. Maybe I will have pics tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I have already had a trauma this morning and have already turned the air a scarlet shade of blue. My pc reminds me of the first black and white television my parents owned, which had to be turned on at least half an hour in advance of any programme we wanted to watch; as a child I recall staring at a horizontal black line going down a snowy screen, over and over, before a picture would appear. So frustrating when waiting for the Woodentops.
It takes twenty minutes for my pc to warm up, if I rush it then it goes a bit crazy - security icons flash, warning of great peril, inferring that I'm not protected and that world's going to end, or some such... so I start repeatedly clicking on things and swearing... and we all know that repeated clicking is never going to help in a computer related incident...weird windows pop up... the timer thingy whirls around and around... this morning I had to log off and start again.
Anyhow, I'd better get on... sort this tree business out etc...

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Charades!!!! Let's Play!!!

It's Saturday and this is the 4th day of my blogging marathon, I'm still here, posting away... Bloggers are notoriously quiet on Saturdays, they tend to go off and do other things... like have a bath, change their socks, restock the fridge... they filter back to the Blogosphere at 7pm [GMT] on a Sunday evening, refreshed and erudite. I know this, I have watched this phenomenon.
Anyhow, today I promised Mr LX and Nick that we would play charades; I will make this as simple as I can and describe the actions I am performing for each word or syllable and rather than doing the action for film or book etc, I will tell you.... otherwise this will get very silly. Right, here goes, please concentrate and fully engage imagination.

It's a film.

It has 3 words.

First word: I am making a 'T' sign with my index fingers.

Second word: I am stroking my earlobe [sounds like]. I have positioned both of my hands at either side of my head. My index fingers are pointing up, but the tips of these fingers are bent forwards. My body is now bent slightly forward and I am charging towards the wall.

Third word: First syllable: I am now strutting across the room and pointing at my chest area. I have now strutted across the room three times, still pointing at my chest area...

Third word: Second syllable: I am holding my hands together and then moving them apart [this means that I am lengthening the first syllable].

I hope this is clear. You are allowed to ask questions in the comment box, to which I can only answer yes or no.... unless you ask an unrelated question, i.e, Scarlet, what did you have for breakfast this morning? And then I may give you a food related answer.
To aid your efforts I may add a visual clue later in the day, just in case you are struggling.

To get us in the party game mood, here is a totally unrelated Youtube. This IS NOT a clue... yet it sort of fits... but don't let this remark distract you....

Wendy has guessed correctly!!! It is now her turn - this is Wendy's charade:-

Here's one, it's a film:

Opens whole hand 4 fingers and thumb.
[Five Words]

Puts hands next to each other, palms facing down, then each hand simultaneously moves to draw a virtual circle.
[Whole thing]

Pulls two dining room chairs and places them next to each other facing forward.

Sits on the right hand chair with hands in front, each clasping an invisible something. Then moves the hands slightly up and down keeping the distance between them the same.

Legs are stretched forward, feet sticking up, gradually lowering the right foot. Turns to look at the left hand chair.

Jumps to the left hand chair and waves left arm around, then picks nose, then moves to put both arms around the neck of the invisible person in the other chair and kisses them.

Well, I think this will have me puzzled for the rest of the day.... Sx

Friday, 9 December 2011

Instructions For A Wet Weekend In The Countryside or Scotland

1) Visit a local cutting edge, trend setting fashion store such as Mole Valley or Scats.
2) Stand transfixed and slightly in awe at the plethora of weather proof jackets and coats they have on offer.
3) After much contemplating select a weather proof garment and team with a fetching pair of green wellington boots to create a new look that is both stylish and elegant.
4) Go for a walk to test weather resistance of new outfit.
5) Fall in ditch.
6) Drown.

Thursday, 8 December 2011


I smoke outside on the patio; I don't smoke indoors. This is fine, I don't mind and it gives me a chance to get outside for some fresh air. Smoking outside has its benefits - I get to hear things that non-smokers don't. Such as the dinosaur. Yes, the dinosaur. I say dinosaur because I can't describe the noise this creature makes in any other way, I can't even mimic its call. It sounds reptilian, I only hear it at night... it makes a single call up the musical scale - kind of like a smooth rattle, and then is silent... sometimes it sounds very close, which is a little unnerving... and I imagine that if I look upwards I will see double lidded raptor staring down at me from the guttering. Like something from the film Jurassic Park.
This all sounds a bit potty. I mentioned it to somebody, and he looked at me as though I was a bit potty, especially when I did the mimicking thing and made a sound like a choked up pheasant/peasant [whatever]. And then one night he heard it too and we looked at each other and mutually mouthed the word 'dinosaur'. But it can't be a dinosaur, so what is it?

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Hanging My Stocking on the Wall

I have been musing, whilst Z has been pondering the benefits and disadvantages of blogging on a daily basis. I have never blogged on a daily basis, at the height of my blogging frenzy I may have managed three posts in a week, but these days I can barely get one up once a month.
I do admire bloggers who have the stamina required for the dailies; I don't actually believe I could deliver, BUT... I am going to try, for one week only... starting right now... just to find out what it's like.

Today I have mostly been hoovering my crevices in preparation for tinsel.

Here is a tune to cheer me on my way.... and I think I promised I'd play this for Mr Logs...

It's okay, you can slap me now.