Visitors' Book 2008

Gorilla Bananas  26 August 2008 12:59
Why not go the whole hog and wear a mask? Looks are overrated anyway, we gorillas focus more on the firmness of the rump.

Gilbert the Alien  26 August 2008 15:30
How about...Oasis, it makes you drunk.
No longing blogging and profile deleted.

Dannyboy  26 August 2008 22:54
Oasis - Fruit Flavoured Water - Fucking Buy it.'
If they actualy had the balls to made an ad with this as the strap line I'd deffentaly go buy a bottle.

No longer blogging

Static  27 August 2008 02:04
I've also found that a long fringe hides the lobotomy scars. Speaking from personal experience, of course.

Mrs Pouncer  28 August 2008 20:53  
I am astounded that anyone has noticed. My liaison with Dr Maroon is purely professional and mutually beneficial. It is rooted in the graceful old tradition of getting completely pissed on Friday nights, followed by mass-deletions on Saturday mornings. It is a niche interest, but one that we are keen to nurture.
I am as posh as I appear to be; posher actually.

No longer blogging, but can be found on Facebook.

Wendy  2 September 2008 21:33  
Mrs P, deleting on a saturday sounds like something a Mr. Himmler might have deamt of to offend people who hold the Saturday as a special day.

Posher indeed, you are a card!

BEAST 2 September 2008 15:27  
***ponders which global conglomerate would benefit from a pert ass ***
Anyway , I have yet to see the add , but I am sure it was a 'body double' that did the stair bounding , while Miss witherspoon was transported on a gilded litter , bourne aloft by scantilly dressed muscular young men . I am sure they don't make the talent sweat .

Blogs rarely, very much on Facebook

Dr Maroon 3 September 2008 13:50  
Scarlet! What a delightful child you are. I must be brief unfortunately. Your visit to cape to rio has brightened my day. I'm feeling just sublime. Please come round anytime, we'll share a Moscow Mule or two. I'm sorry I am in such a hurry but the nation's defence depends on it and I had to listen to some oaf on his cell phone to his girlfriend on the train this morning. It was very personal. I had no idea! In my day, we just passed each other lovehearts.
Pip pip.

Missing in action, may be buried under Mrs Pouncer's patio?

Mu Tai Dong 3 September 2008 19:57  
You like me?
No longer blogging. Sadly.

Glamourpuss 4 September 2008 22:07  
Agreed - periods are crap. And sanitary towels are vile. In fact. anything that makes me smell like I died is vile. I just bought a Mooncup - takes some getting used to but far less revolting than anything Always sell.


No longer blogging

Kate Lord Brown 9 September 2008 17:21  
Waitrose be damned - I'm off to Morrisons (farmer's plums and Dame Helen's fishy fingers ... my mind is reeling with the image ...)

the beast of berkeley hunt 9 September 2008 21:40  
Work hard, and you might even break the glass ceiling into Asda.
No longing blogging, profile deleted.

EmmaK 10 September 2008 01:50
I'm just not quite sure what this exciting position involves. Do tell. The only time I enjoyed working at Asda was while drunk. As a student I was a night shift shelf stacker, used to start at midnight after a night on the piss...used to help myself to juice boxes, chocolate etc while ostensibly stacking. For some reason I wasn't sacked.
Occasionally still blogs

World Champ Stephen Neal 10 September 2008 18:56  
I guess our offering Al Gore in exchange for some chocolate was a bad idea...
No longer blogging, profile deleted

Kevin Musgrove 14 September 2008 22:51  
Obviously one of those fanatical cleaning ladies who don't want bits of lint falling onto the bits of the floor she's just scrubbed.

At which point does Molly Weir turn up with her packet of Flash?

mutleythedog 14 September 2008 20:57
I have made a few artworks like Damiens myself. Used condoms, stuffed dogs and whatnot...
No longer blogging. RIP. Profile and blog deleted.

Globus 14 September 2008 21:56  
globus met hurst once some years ago, and can confirm he's the self-righteous and selfish twunt you suggest he is....
No longing blogging at this address, but might be around somewhere?

Joanna Cake 21 September 2008 09:15
Scarlet-blue, are you sure you're not a younger version of me? Great post :) I too have frequently made similar observations about the 'whole packet of chocolate biscuits in one go' scenario. And I adore pork pies because of the aspic and the pastry. Whilst most women extol the virtues of licking melted chocolate off an erect penis, Im far more intrigued by the prospect of doing the same with a nice onion gravy. Far more suited to any type of sausage :)

No Good Boyo 21 September 2008 08:12  
Would GB have to dress up as a mandrill for added humiliation?

Mrs Boyo & I recently spent a pleasant day in Malmesbury, the home town of Mr Dyson. Pleasant, that is, until we found out that the Abbey Gardens are the preserve of "naturists" on certain days of the year. This was such a day.

O Malmesbury, so much to answer for.

Can Bass 1 21 September 2008 21:28  
But why, Ms Blue, why (would he want to stick the nozzle down his trousers)?
No longer blogging.

VE 23 September 2008 05:55  
You know if you fill your home with water it eliminates vacuuming entirely...
No longer blogging

John Prescott 24 September 2008 20:38
No deep fried mars bars then?

BTW, I like that sneery shopgirlie in the nice n' easy ad.

Profile deleted.

HornymaleUK 25 September 2008 11:16  
I always enjoy a black box. The insides are so juicy!!
Profile deleted.

Savannah 26 September 2008 15:39
funny thing, sugar, all i see is the amount of editing that commercial took to produce and of course, the total cost of the entire thing and how those costs are passed on to the consumers who fall for that bunk! but then, what do i know? except that my kid gets his 3 figure daily rate for his camera work no matter what the product is. xoxo

(had to drop by, your comments on other sites have been fun to read!)

Pat 26 September 2008 22:07
I bumped into Demis once in Greece. He had very piercing eyes and I became all unnecessary. Nice frock!

Evil Short Seller part 2 28 September 2008 14:35  
I've had a transgender op. Usually it's ex Paras who go in for this, but I can vouch that this procedure is even open to Ministers of State, however incompetent and evil they may be.
Profile deleted.

The Dotterel 29 September 2008 05:05  
Looks nothing like her... Oh, it's art.

Tazeen 30 September 2008 11:02  
She is famous, even if she painted with her poo, it would have gotten loads of money.

PS: Moral of the story: Never gift such a personal item to a junkie, no matter how much you are in love, it will out on the streets soon.

M C Ward 1 October 2008 02:26  
I'd pay double that to have her removed to a remote South Pacific atoll with that chump of a boyfriend of hers. With Naomi Campbell on the next barge.
No longer blogging.

Practically Joe 3 October 2008 17:26  
Please do not stand and keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.
No longer blogging?

Daphne Wayne-Baugh 6 October 2008 10:48  
I imagine the tryst took place in a Travel Inn near Northampton. This clip was great. Just how I imagine both of them! (Except Maroon would be wearing a kilt).

Inkspot 8 October 2008 08:51  
You forgot golden syrup.

The whole hairdressing business has always bewildered me; Mme Inkspot has it covered, though when I mentioned your spunk suggestion her reaction was marked.

On the other hand, I'm certainly in the market for a post about shoes.

Blog deleted.

KAZ 10 October 2008 08:44
Have you tried condensed milk?
If there's any left over it's great for sticking bathroom tiles back on the wall as well.

No longer blogging. RIP.

LibraryLizzie 10 October 2008 10:36
Linco Beer Shampoo....didn't that actually come in a plastic beer barrel shaped bottle (yellow if I remember correctly)...or is the booze playing havoc with my happy pills again?
No longer blogging, but can be found on Facebook.

Grump 14 October 2008 07:10  
I love this blog found you via Gorilla bananas. I'm one of those rarities, a man who enjoys vacuuming. I have managed to avoid accessorizing when I use my Vax vacuum cleaner. I use just two attachments on my Wands. The hard/carpet floor head, also known as the 'Floor tool comb' and a smaller head I think it is designed for smaller floor areas, it works very well on my carpeted stair case.
Thanks for your great blog. I look forward to more visits.
Cheers Mark

No longer blogging, but can be found on Facebook

Layclerk 17 October 2008 15:21  
My ex wife, ok, my first ex wife, worked for Proctor & Gamble and was very involved in introducing the first TV adverts for, ahem, sanitary products in the UK, which was the Always brand, I think.

I remember her moaning about the outrageous hoops they had to jump through to satisfy the Advertising Standards Authority that they weren't going to show anything which would scandalise the TV watching population! The companies are obviously still handcuffed by strict rules on what they can and can't show, just in case sensitivities are offended. Crazy.

No longer blogging?

Donn Coppens 17 October 2008 15:30  
The worst kept secret in the world is that your skin, the largest organ in your body, requires a daily intake of water to replenish the cells.

Our culture is insanely obssessed with aging..when I was a Teen the zeitgeist mantra was "never trust anyone over 30" and now that I'm 50, it's "never trust anyone over 50 who doesn't look like they are 30".

Now that Humans have managed to outlive their genetically mandated best before date we have designed all sorts of ways to justify our existence.

Personally, I am far more intrigued by middle aged women who are comfortable in their own skin...replete with laugh lines, curves, and yes, even a few wisps of grey.

My only consolation is that being in the middle of the Baby Boomers ('57) I know that the Ad Wizards and Marketing Demons will be catering to my cohorts until most of us drop dead...
which will be sometime around 2025..

what are ya gonna do eh?

Blogs occasionally. Can be found on Facebook

Jade of the Jungle 18 October 2008 18:16  
Ah, so this is where you live Scarlet Blue! Great blog.

All I can say about wrinkles is if we have the technology to put men on the moon, surely we are advanced enough as a race to invent a wrinkle cream that actually works! You'd think. C'mon boffins, get your priorities right.

No longer blogging.

Misssy M 19 October 2008 18:20  
Personally I'm bad for buying products, using them for a week, then forgetting about them and going back to my slovenly ways.

An expensive hobby, as well as an ineffective one. Best anti-aging advice I've ever heard?


It works

Ubermouth 20 October 2008 09:57  
Made my way over from Mutley's.
I couldn't get first vid to work, but the second is delicious, isn't it?
ut really, who makes all that?

No longer blogging.

Gyppo Byard 20 October 2008 11:00
Cbeebies did an excellent programme trailer for "Big Cook Little Cook" parodying this...

But seriously, this is food porn, pure and simple.

Dinner in the Gyppo household is more like "These are not just baked potatoes, these are baked potatoes that have been overcooked and stuck slightly to the baking tray to be prized off amid much swearing and then dropped on the floor, before having old cheddar with the mouldy bits cut off grated carelessly over your wife's lap, earning a much merited castigation."

Crabtree 20 October 2008 23:01  
Me here, miss scarlet, thank you for your small visit :)

Wouaaaa! 800 calories the pouding to the chocolate !! Soon Christmas, how much for the pudding of butter of cognac (Plum Pouding)?

With my friendships

Tenon_Saw 24 October 2008 16:21  
I'll never hear the Mahler in the same way again.
No longer blogging.

Gadjo Dilo 28 October 2008 06:37  
Batmaaaaan!! I can see you now zooming around chanting that as a carrot-topped ("Duracell"?) 3-year-old, perhaps also pretending to be a zombie at the same time!
No longer blogging.

Ginro 28 October 2008 09:26  
Batman has always been my fsvourite, my ringtone is the phone sound they use on 24, and Davina McCall made up as a zombie bears a truly, genuinely, scarily, uncanny, resemblance to my ex-wife, lol!
No longer blogging.

MJ 29 October 2008 06:16
I've yet to have a happy period.
They're all miserable and they make ME miserable.
So miserable in fact, that I am forced to rip out my uterus and fling it at Beast.

Oh, hello Donn and Kaz and Beast and Ginro. Fancy meeting YOU here!

Scruples 31 October 2008 23:40  
Be nice to the poor ginger lady, she's very pretty.
No longer blogging.

Pete 6 November 2008 07:10
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Can be found on Facebook.

LX 6 November 2008 13:48  

Famulus 6 November 2008 19:21
Is being tagged anything to do with bondage?
No loner blogging.

Frobisher 9 November 2008 17:47
Sorry I just couldn't bring myself to watch all that link
No longer blogging.

ChrisV82 9 November 2008 22:00 That's my ring, too, but only for texts. It adds a little class to anotherwise classless world.

Susan 17 November 2008 02:00
"Being a man is not an excuse to be useless."
I am making that into my Christmas card this year.

Dave 17 November 2008 09:49
Ahem. Re your comment about me at Kaz's place...
No longer blogging.

Malc 19 November 2008 20:27
I'd forgotten how immense Mick's mullet was.
No longer blogging.

Bruthafromanothamutha 25 November 2008 00:36
What a stunningly attractive young lady you are and a fabulous writer to boot!
its a pleasure being allowed a glimpse of genius

Profile only.

Word Verification 25 November 2008 13:29
No longer blogging in this format.

Geoff 26 November 2008 13:35
A nostril full of Daz and a picture of Danny Baker..
No longer blogging.

Femin Susan 30 November 2008 10:17
Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
Great! Keep writing…….
Good week……… Welcome to my blog…….

No longer blogging.

I,Like The View 30 November 2008 22:45
hey scarlet - I read your comment about advent calendars over at dave's. . .
. . .if you're happy with pictures (and tunes) but no chocolate, pop over to my special festive blog in December. . .

(glad to see you're still online!)

No longer blogging.

Charlotte 5 December 2008 19:11
SCARLET: I used to have a wisdom tooth like that as well, slightly impacted with a flap over it.

I managed to find an NHS dentist on the Old Kent Road who whipped it out for £40. (Can't remember the name of the dentist, sorry, but he did Saturday morning appointments as I wanted it seen to on a non working day).

Profile deleted.

Anndi 6 December 2008 19:05
You just reminded me that there is actually one good thing about winter. No mosquitoes.
No longer blogging.

TabbyT 10 December 2008 19:18
Eeeek! please say that is not real and that is not really your finger with its suction thing stuck in you????????
No longer blogging.

Fairyhedgehog 10 December 2008 14:31
People shouldn't fiddle with themselves.
Whyever not?

I loved Ivor the Engine. It was gentle and slightly melancholy.

Eryl Shields 10 December 2008 22:45
I've been meaning to come and say hello for ages, keep seeing you at friend's places, and I'm so glad I did now: The Clangers have been out of my life for too long.

Ellis Nadler 11 December 2008 01:14
it's the vernon elliott that makes it

Autolycus 16 December 2008 18:45
Will he be fitting a rim lock to your back door?

Good heavens. Word verification = doend. I swear I had nothing to do with it.

Clyde 21 December 2008 00:46
So does this new entrance include a little doggy door ?
Hmmm----do they shave the beavers to get better access to the anal glands ?

The Other Kevin 27 December 2008 14:49
SCARLET: A very good joke, tee-hee.... erm, perhaps you can explain it to me later??
It's a computer geek joke -- see this wikipedia entry re: Binary Code:

Profile deleted

Nuvalostlamb 28 December 2008 01:56
Totally agree SB - was dragged into some shopping centre in a typical towny town (no culture jus same shit you can find in any other town), by my fella... The place looked like a large flock had escaped their pens and were running amok the place jus bouncing against each other in all directions.
No longer blogging.


Donnnnnnnn said...

Nice stroll down memory lane innit?
Good Times.

Ms Scarlet said...

Indeed it is! I think 2009 is going to be even more nostalgic.

MJ said...

Oh, hello Donn. Fancy meeting YOU here!